It is quite interesting the number of boys we have between us. Out of the 8 mamas only Mama H is lucky enough to have not one but two girls. The rest of us are blessed with little boys. Personally we were really wanting a boy first. Mr M is just a boy boy if that makes sense. Second time around he wanted another boy. I really didn't mind. Again, Mr M got his wish. We'd like to have a 3rd and it would be nice to have a girl. I'd love to make beautiful little dresses for her and paint a room pink. But if number 3 was another boy I really wouldn't be worried. Boys are such fun too.
Last night a documentary aired on four families all desperate for a girl. One family had 8 boys while the others had four boys each. What I found disturbing was the desperation of these mothers. All the fathers were fine with it. Sure, it would be nice to have a girl, but they had healthy children so what's the problem. The mothers were a different story.
One mother went as far as saying that to her not being able to have a girl was the same as a woman who can't conceive at all. A dreadfully selfish and almost disgusting suggestion in my opinion. This woman was blessed with four very beautiful and healthy boys and was bemoaning this fact! The documentary showed her discovering she was pregnant with number 5 and accompanied her to the 18 week scan to see the sex. It was a boy. She sobbed openly in front of her boys about not having a girl. How will these boys grow up, especially the poor little boy number 5?
The mother with 8 boys was now in her mid forties and had been trying for a couple of years to fall pregnant again but it was just not happening. She had largely accepted it.
Two of the mothers, one in the UK, the other in the US, underwent PDG, a IVF type process of selecting only the female embryos for implantation. The practise is illegal in the UK so the British mother travelled to Spain for the process.
It was the second attempt at PDG for the American mother. Unfortunately for her it failed once again. She sobbed openly in front of her boys about not having a girl and her husband was clearly concerned about how this negativity would effect their boys.
It does have a happy ending. The British mother had refused to marry her partner of many years until he gave her a girl. After 4 beautiful boys and a single round of PDG she gave birth to twin girls. She had her fairytale wedding with the young daughters as bridesmaids. The disproportionate attention she gave to the girls while ignoring the boys was disturbing. She highly recommended gender selection as a way of building a balanced family.
Gender selection is actually legal in many US states. What are your views? Will it create an unbalanced society or just enable people to create a balanced family?
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I am no stranger to IVF technology, and am hugely indebted to our embryologist's skills. But I feel strongly that sex-typing is a misuse of science. There are other ways to find "balance" -- I'm quite sure each of these women's boys have distinct personalities, some more sensitive and less typical-male than others. Frankly, when you've tried as hard as we have to become pregnant, you just want a living breathing soul to emerge at the end of it all! These ladies need to get some perspective.
ReplyDeleteWell said Mama V!
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