My new blog

Hello Mamas! It's been a while since any of us have blogged. I know we're all so busy living life that it's often hard to write about it too.

As part of my new and exciting career path I have set up a new blog Not Just Another Cupcake. It is still very much a work in progress. It's a bit of a tongue in cheek wink toward all those mums who start cupcake businesses. As a "home creator" I'll be writing about crafts, food, style, parenting, health and gardening. Additionally, with the purchase of our new house I'll share the transformation as we renovate and make it our family home.

I have transferred a number of the posts I have written on this blog only to fill it out a little. I'll also post on this blog too as it's a nice open letter to my friends across the pond.

Mama N xx

Farewell my Stokke

With a small lump in my throat I must announce that I have sold my beloved kelly green Stokke stroller. For months Mister T has been asking me to sell it. I must admit that it had been sitting in the garage unused since we moved to San Francisco. We recently purchased the Phil & Ted's Sport double stroller which can easily be taken up and down the stairs to our front entryway. And of course, a double stroller makes sense for Master Q and Miss V. Mama G recently sent me a link to the new toddler board that just became available for the Stokke and I felt a strong urge to return the Phil & Ted's and keep the Stokke just a little longer, but deep down I knew it was time to part with it.

I sold the Stokke to a nice couple who is expecting their first child. It is their "dream" stroller so I feel good that it went to someone who would appreciate it as much as I did. I actually couldn't bear watching someone take it away, so I made Mister T handle the transaction while I hid in the house. It's kind of silly that I became so attached to a stroller, but I think I understand why. My stroller was such an integral part of my life in New York. Wherever I went in lower Manhattan, I was pushing my green stroller with Miss L riding along. So parting with it is finally coming to grips with moving on from that part of my life. When I have a tough day I longingly look back to strolling along the Hudson or up that weird alley street with Mama J to Thursday playgroup.

But enough wallowing. I'm going to embrace my Phil & Ted's and look forward to pushing it around with all three children (two strolled and one carried to start with!) to get to know my new city better and make new friends.

On the bright side I pocketed some cash that I can spend frivolously on myself. I decided to put it to good use and I've purchased private Pilates sessions. I had my first private this morning, working on both the Reformer and Tower. I've decided it's time to get myself back out there, and I'm determined to get my old body back too. I want to wear pants that zip and button rather than pull up, and I miss my Steven Alan shirts! More on the Reformer for my next post...

Am I bored?

Source: Isisthescientist

Now that I've sold my business and am officially a fulltime mum the question I get asked the most is "don't you get bored?". A working mother even asked me what I do all day (ha! She should try being at home all day and realise just how much more demanding it is than going into an office. Trust me I've done it). Just today I got asked if I get lonely for the 3rd time this week.

Until today I haven't had a chance to even think about being bored or lonely. But this evening Mr M is travelling, the kids are tucked up in bed and I'm working on an uninspiring knitting project. This has given me an opportunity to let my mind actually turn the cogs.

I can honestly say that I never ever feel bored. The last time I remember feeling bored was whining about it to my mother when I was about 12. With so much going on at all times it isn't a feeling I ever get. But loneliness? My days are filled with mothering and homemaking and I guess I haven't had a chance to think about this either.

The past week or so I had an urge to go and meet people. Not really for my sake but for Master T's. From the time Master R was 8 weeks old I was actively attending mama's groups around Battery Park. For Master T I've done nothing. He's never really had a play date. The problem is to find a group of mothers with babies the same age as Master T. Finding a group for your first child is relatively easy. Will the mothers relate to me with two kids? I'm not sure. I've started looking at music and "gym" classes. It might be a good place to start. I just hope I don't meet any more stalkers or drug dealers!

As a side story do you remember before you were a mum going to dinner parties or other events and meeting a new person. You pretty soon get to the question, so what do you do for a living? When the woman would respond, I'm a stay at home mum, my eyes would glaze and I'd start scanning the room for someone more exciting to talk to. I had to chuckle to myself. On Saturday night I was that mummy! A newly graduated MBA had just landed a fantastic job and was telling me all about it. When she asked what I do I told her and instantly saw the frozen smile and then the "oh, how nice for you". I just laughed and showed her the photo on my phone of my darlings. I'm proud to be a stay home mum and feel privileged to have the opportunity to just be mum.

To cry or not to cry?

Source: About.com

Ask any new mum and the biggest concerns are going to be feeding and sleep - both their own and their babies. I read so many books on sleep and had formed a very strong feeling against any form of sleep training. I was definitely in the Dr Sears camp (cosleep until baby is ready to move into his own bed) rather than the Dr Cohen approach (at 8 weeks place baby in crib at 7pm, close the door and open it again at 7am). However all that changed with Master R was 7 months old.

I was going back to work on a 2 month contract with Goldman Sachs. The Sunday before I started I met with Mama V and complained that I didn't know how I was going to continue to cosleep with Master R, wake during the night for feeds and make a good impression at work. Mama V told me I was just going to have to use the cry it out method (CIO). She shared her experience and urged me to consider it. What sold me is that she said Master K was a much happier baby as a result often waking of a morning to sit in his crib playing happily with his toys - a stark contrast to Master R who awoke screaming most mornings still tired.

That night Mr M was travelling for work so I resolved myself to the task. After a bath and story we lay down together for a feed and then put him in his crib at 7pm. Prepared for the worst I was surprised when he only whimpered for 15 minutes before falling asleep. Shocked I waited for him to wake up. Finally at 10 he awoke crying but again he only cried for 10-15 minutes. He woke again at 11 and I thought this was going to continue all night. But once again after 15 minutes of crying he fell asleep again - for the rest of the night! The next night he only cried for a little while before sleeping the whole night and then every night since, except for a the odd night of course.

So now I'm a convert. I see anti-CIO parent's kids who still wake during the night at 4 years old and I'm so pleased that Mama V encouraged me to do it. Now however, it's Master T's turn. He's 5.5mths old - where has the time gone? It's not so easy. He feels like a little baby and seems to young to just cry. We've started CIO, a modified version of it anyway. He falls asleep during feeding and was waking again after 1-2 hours. But a week ago I started letting him cry. It hasn't been as quick as Master R, but so far it's working. Master T mostly sleeps through until 10:30-11pmish when I come into bed and wake him up. In the next couple of months I'll move him out of our bed and start working towards a full night of sleep. Two kids sleeping though the night, won't that be bliss!

What do you think? Did you or didn't you use CIO or a version of it?

Fulltime help: do I really need it?

Source: Unrealitymag.com

With great trepidation I hired a nanny - fulltime! I've ummed and arghed about it and still am not quite sure about it. Do I really need fulltime help when Master R is already in nursery 3 days a week? Sure I can't do anything with Master T glued to my hip but I like to feel independent. I always think about my mother raising 4 of us with no help. Then I have to remember the nervous breakdown.

When we last brought up this issue here on the blog I remember Mama LS saying that having the help enables he to be a better mother and wife. This is the crux of the issue - I'm a bit of a stressed, exhausted, disorganised mess at the end of the day. Mr M would like to come home and have a conversation not just incoherent grunts.

Currently I have a young neighbour come over for an hour each evening and just hold Master T while I do the bedtime routine with Master R. It's lovely to have that one on one time with each child and not frantically throw Master R in bed while Master T screams.

With that in mind I went ahead and hired a nanny, F. It was a very short interview. She's very young and very pretty (perhaps too pretty!), quite shy and, importantly German so she can continue with the boys' bilingual exposure. Rather than the gruelling interview I'm going to give her a 2 week trial where she and assess the situation after that. F will work with us from 12 until 7 so I'll still have the mornings with my boys. And I'll be here at home with her 90% of the time anyway.

I'm quite nervous about it but also welcoming the time I'll have to get this house sorted out, cook meals for the family and pursue other career options. I'll report back soon.

How not to entertain your toddler

Master R loves cooking. He's actually really good at helping me in the kitchen. He gets up on his step at the bench and mixes, measures and pours. He gets so excited about it! I made a big error yesterday though. Forgetting that toddlers need instant gratification and don't understand the word "wait" I thought he'd enjoy some jelly*.

He had so much fun stirring and stirring. I was very anxious about the hot water. But the problem started when he just didn't get the bit where it needs to set in the fridge. We had massive tantrums and tears. It took ages for him to forget about it and stop opening the fridge.

You should have seen his face that evening when I gave him some jelly! He was really excited to see how it had set and wobbled.

Today we baked a scrumptious orange cake together. A much better idea - he can lick the bowl and spoon then in 45 minutes eat a slice of cake. Later he got to make the icing and lick the bowl again! (Must post the recipe for the cake we baked. It's an orange cake made with 2 full oranges - skin, pips and all! Yummy!)

*Sorry I don't know the American word for jelly but I think you call jam jelly? I'm sure you'll understand what I mean from the picture.

Love/hate the dummy

We have a dummy (paci) free house! Hurrah. Well, kind of. The catalyst for this change was Master R's constant whining "Dummy gone!". Mr M and I were completely fed up and while we were away I threw out every last one.

It wasn't as hard as we expected for Master R to quit. After his operation I'd been a little lax and had given into the whines allowing him to play with it in until he got sick of it and gave it to me. A bad habit. We don't mention that D-U-M-M-Y word now simply referring to it as "D". He has occasionally cried out for it and it takes longer for him to fall asleep. With the D he'd fall asleep almost immediately now it takes a little while often with tears.

Master T on the other hand would not take one. I tried on numerous occasions to hold one into his mouth only for him to gag and spit it out in disgust. I tried other brands but he wasn't interested preferring only the real thing. Interestingly he'll take a bottle from our child minder but not the dummy.

There is upside to Master T's behaviour but there's also downside - he sleeps much less than his big brother. Not only that but he seems to wake more frequently. Currently he sleeps less during the day than Master R. But at least there's no attachment to an innate and often dirty object. And no weaning off it - that part I'll take.

It was the best of times it was the worst of times

Master R taking his bear for a ride.

Dear Mamas, I do have a good reason for being MIA. Not only did I give birth to Master T in late August, but we've had some health issues with Master R which have really overshadowed everything and caused me to make some decisions about work/life balance.

From the time Master R was 4 months old I just knew something wasn't right. I was the envy of many of you Mamas with his infrequent bowel movements. He would generally go 1-2 weeks and then have a major "evacuation", the medical term. Tribeca Peds continually brushed me off saying it was normal for a breastfed baby. One of the worst events happened while we were on holiday in Barcelona. He hadn't gone for 16 days and was in considerable discomfort kicking his little legs and moaning. His stomach was quite swollen. We decided to take matters quite literally into our own hands and lets just say that new towels were ordered from reception.

Every checkup I continued to press the doctor for answers. I asked every medical person who listened but everyone said it was normal and would work itself out when he went onto solids. However it didn't. And when Master R was able to stand he started doing this little dance when he needed to poo. He would rock from side to side holding onto a table or chair and just strain. The interesting thing, without wanting to be too graphic, is that the bowel movements were normal, not hard. Well meaning friends would tell me to give him more prune juice or lentils but it isn't consipation.

It got really bad just before Master T was born. Master R would be screaming in pain with each movement which was now 1-2 times a week. Finally in August when my mum was here she decided it really wasn't normal and we'd have to see a specialist. Dragging along poor little 1 week old Master T we went to a paediatric gastroenterologist. To cut the story short he gave us a series of constipation medications which didn't work except for Picolax which is the very strong laxitive you take before a colonoscopy. If we took the quantities Master R did we'd be on the toilet all night but they just give him a normal 1-2 day movement.

When tests for Crohn's and Caeliac disease came back negative we had to use invasive methods to rule out an obstruction of, my worst fear, Hirschsprung's. On 8 December Master R went to hopsital and under a general anesthetic underwent an upper endoscopy where they put a camera down his throat into the bowel. The actual procedure only lasted for a very long 20 minutes. Straight after the GI specialist told me there was no obstruction, cancer, but we'd have to wait a week for the results of the biopsy.

Master R actually being in the operating room was bad enough but the worst thing, and something they didn't prepare me for, was him coming out from the anesthetic. He was like a wild animals clawing at me and howling in pain with this horrible hoarse scream. I could barely contain him and the nurses were completely calm almost ignoring me struggling with this fighting toddler. This lasted for about an hour and unfortunately I had to do it alone because the nurses had told Mr M that the op would take an hour or more and he'd gone out for a snack!

The results took longer than a week to get back to us with Christmas and doctors away. Finally my daily calls begging for the results paid off and on 24 December I had my best ever Christmas present when the secretary told me it wasn't Hirschsprungs. The bad news is that we still don't know what is wrong. With the Picolax Master R is quite regular at 1-3 days and not is as much paid. Clearly we don't want to have to rely on drugs forever but we'll have to wait now until we return to London to decide the next stage of testing.

Perhaps even more concerning is that the tests revealed that Master R has a thyroid problem and his thyroid will eventually give out. This could be in 6 months or 16 years. He'll need regular 6mth blood tests to monitor the situation. Then he will need to rely on drugs for the rest of his life to keep his thyroid levels normal.

That was last year. 2009 was beautiful for us with the arrival of Master T and Master R's continued development. But it seemed to be a tough one for many of us and I'm glad to close the door on it and open a new chapter with 2010. Happy New Year Mamas and I'm missing every one of you xx

The octomom

The documentary has just aired on UK TV tonight. Its like watching a horrific car accident. I just can't bring myself to turn it off and yet I'm cringing and feeling so angry at her.

Initially I thought I'd watch it with an open mind. I would not prejudge her and give her the benefit of being a loving woman who took motherhood into her own hands and on her own terms. But after seeing those poor children I just feel ill.

The programme starts with feeding time for the 9mth old octuplets. They are all just screaming and kicking fighting for food and spitting it out at the same time. Nayda and her two helpers just can't give the love and attention that these poor babies need.

What was even more sickening is the poor older children. The oldest girl is old beyond her years. When Nadya pokes the camera into her face and asks her Do you enjoy all the babies? The poor girl responds that she wishes she was an only child. So often she is shown caring for the babies. Sure I did that too as the oldest of 4 and resented the care I had to give but was also proud at the same time. But to have to help care for 13 siblings when is is still a young girl herself?

The autistic boy is given a shower of kisses and then pushed off to a minder while Nadya turns her back on him and attends to the other children.

Then the stupid woman shoved the camera in the face of a boy of about 6-7 years. He screams to get the camera out of his face. Nadya laughs and says he hates being on camera and she respects that. But she continues to hound the boy until he completely breaks down screaming at her and calling her an arsehole. Lovely. Its no wonder the boy cracks and throws a screwdriver at his mother cutting her nose. He screams out "F*%K You!" then tells her he doesn't like her talking about him. This is a cry for help, surely? These are healthy and well adjusted children.

The only saving grace is that the courts have been given some power to protect the children. I hope they step in soon and realise that this constant publicity is so destroying for these poor children.

Homemade playdough

Lately I've been thinking of creative ways to entertain Miss L at home. I'd much prefer arts and crafts to television, although I will admit that Miss L and I do watch Curious George on PBS on a regular basis.

Here are some of the ways we spend a morning or afternoon at home:

1. I set up a playlist on my iPod with Music Together, Baby Loves Jazz, Lisa Loeb, They Might Be Giants and Dan Zanes songs. I play the music and dump a ton of musical instruments on the floor and Miss L dances and plays the instruments while I sing along to the songs. I've also found that she loves Latin pop music so I created a separate playlist with Juanes, Julieta Venega, Laura Pausina and Lenine.

2. We set up crafts at her little play table. We use crayons, easel paper, construction paper, toddler scissors, toddler glue and yarn scraps. As I mentioned to Mama V sometimes we have a finished object, and oftentimes it gets taken apart by Miss L a few minutes later. I try to focus on the act of crafting rather than having something finished, especially with the short attention span of a toddler.

3. Small puzzles have been great. Miss L has a box that contains four puzzles with each puzzle only containing four pieces. This makes it less frustrating for Miss L and more likely that we can finish it and then talk about what is in the puzzle picture. The Melissa & Doug wooden puzzles are great too. Miss L's favorite puzzle right now is a farm animal puzzle that has mom and baby animals.

4. Recently we received a recipe for homemade playdough from Miss L's yoga/art class. This is wonderful to mold into different shapes. You can use cookie cutters or stamp molds with it too. Here is the recipe:

1 cup flour
1 cup water

1/2 cup salt

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

2 tablespoons oil

Food coloring (optional)

Mix all ingredients in a pot. Cook over low heat until thickened. Cool, knead and have fun!

I am wondering if you have any other creative activities for home!

Nanny Poppins

Source: www.godutchbaby.blogspot.com

With all of this bedrest and waiting for the twins arrival, I have decided that it is time to staff up the household.

As many of you mamas know, I tend to be a little timid about finding help, but it is time to realize that I need it. Over the last two weeks I have dedicated my time laying in bed to finding the right help for our family. Mister T and my parents have been and will be a tremendous help but I can't ask them to do everything.

The first thing I did was hire a housekeeper. This has helped tremendously. Even before bedrest I quickly realized that scrubbing a tub was not very doable or safe for a pregnant woman. Our neighbors recommended a wonderful housekeeper who now comes in weekly to clean and do the laundry. She has also offered to run errands which will come in very handy when the twins arrive.

The second thing I did was hire a mother's helper for Miss L. This was a hard thing for me to do because I still want to do everything for Miss L. But my mental will cannot outmatch my physical limitations right now. I was very nervous to find the right person that would care for Miss L with the same focus and attention that I do. I was reluctant to use a random mothers board posting for a recommendation. Then I remembered that Mama N had spoken with other mothers in the neighborhood when she was looking for help back when we were neighbors. I followed in her footsteps and sent out emails to the mothers I had met here in SF over the last couple of months.

I found a lovely British nanny who started today and will be helping us two mornings a week. I expect that we will ask her to help more as we get closer to the twins arrival. What really made me feel comfortable, and excited, to have her help us was seeing Miss L's immediate response to her. When she stopped by for an initial visit a couple of weeks ago, Miss L ran right up to her and engaged her in playing. Miss L showed off her dance moves and giggled the entire time. And after just meeting her once for a couple of hours, Miss L already asks for her by name each day and pretends to call her on the phone. I have heard it often, and now I understand that it just clicks and you know it.

Next on the list is a postpartum doula. I interviewed two doulas based on recommendations from my prenatal swim instructor who also is a labor doula. I just hired my doula today. She will come for her first visit the day we come home from the hospital and then will come to help a few days a week for the first two months. Mostly I am looking for breastfeeding support and an extra set of hands as I learn how to care for two little ones at once. I found someone who is warm and nurturing and also very positive and upbeat, which I think will help tremendously in those first few sleep-deprived weeks. Miss L also enjoyed meeting her and wanted to show her all of her toys, which I thought was a good sign. Having a doula will also help me find little bits of time that I can share alone with Miss L even if it is just to read one story together.

While I found the beginning of this process of finding help to be daunting and scary, I am feeling really good about my decisions as the pieces start to fall into place.

On a side note, I also found a great CSA, Farm Fresh to You, that delivers farm-fresh fruit and vegetables to your door once a week. We received our first box of goodies this week and I was very pleased with the variety and quality, including grapes, beets, tomatoes, lettuce, chard, potatoes and peppers. Each box includes a note from the farm and sample recipes. It's not as fun as strolling over to Provisions with all of you for the summer CSA, but it is a great way to keep my kitchen stocked with fresh fruit and veggies.

Becoming a full time mama

Source: BBC

It's 9:30pm. I've run around after the boys all day and then tried to do a full day's work. I've thrown together a bolognaise ready to serve to Mr M when he walks in the door at around 10. I boil the water go to put the pasta in and realise I have no pasta. A frantic call later Mr M walks through the door with the pasta asking me how I can forget the pasta when I went shopping for a pasta dish. This isn't the first time it's happened.

You see it's not just the pasta I forget. I forget to have a shower. I forget that I put washing in washing machine the night before and now it's smelling musty. I forget to pay my congestion charge for driving in central London and now face a fine of £60/$120. I forget to put out the rubbish and miss the collection with an overflowing bin. I forget to take Master R's shoes to nursery so he can't play outside and I forget to take my keys out of the bugaboo the when I left it at nursery locking myself outside. Let's not even go into my personal finances where I forget to transfer money regularly and overdraw my accounts.

The issue is that for the past 20 months I have been juggling motherhood, running a home (a difficult and generally discounted job!), and a partner who works very long hours and is very reliant on me to run the show. All this on top of running a business full time. Not to mention attempting to look after myself and knitting.

While I don't feel that I'm on the brink of a breakdown or anything, I just feel constant guilt. Guilt that I'm not giving anything 100%. I'm failing as a partner, failing as a homemaker, failing as a business woman, but most importantly failing as a mother. Something had to give. I've made the decision to close down my business.

It wasn't an easy decision. I started the business naively thinking that it would be easier working for myself when I had children. The opposite is true. It is so much easier to be an employee and take your maternity leave while the concerns of the business are left with the business.

I am relieved that the decision has been made and this chapter has now closed behind me. I'm looking forward to a new start. I want to focus on looking after myself, getting fitter and working on a few other projects. Most importantly I don't want to feel guilty that the boys aren't getting the best mother and "wife" that I can be.

Boy oh boy!

Source: www.myfavoritefavors.net

It has been a long time since I posted, but more on that later. I want to make this first post back about the beautiful baby boys that have recently arrived to our TKMamas group. Mamas J and N are doing superb jobs caring for their newborn and toddler sons. I think we have all enjoyed the recent photos of Masters A and R posing with their little brothers. And aren't we lucky to have "mama of two" expert Mama LS for good advice and understanding?!

We now count ten boys with my Miss L still holding the spot of the only girl in the group! Miss L has been repeating "boy, boy, boy" around the house and Mister T is hoping she is not already boy crazy. I just think she is remembering all of her friends from playgroup.

About a month ago the Times wedding section had a wonderful story about a bride and groom who first met as infants in their neighborhood playgroup. Don't worry, I'm not trying to marry off Miss L before she turns two. What I love about this story is that even though the groom's family moved away when they were just toddlers, every year they returned to visit and reconnect with their playgroup friends so the bride and groom had this sense of growing up together over shared summer vacations.

I can only hope that Miss L and I will see all of you every year! I loved the end of the story when the two moms walked down the aisle together in the wedding procession. You could feel their connectedness after all those years and miles between them.

The trend continues: introducing Timo

How can it be that I too have a boy? What's in the water in BPC? What's more, why is everyone I know having two of the same? Strange phenomenon going on. I'm thrilled though. I think secretly I wanted another boy. Master R and Master T will be so close in age that it will be nice to be brothers. Will just have to convince Mr M for another one and this time hope for a girl. Mr M by the way is chuffed to bits to have another boy. He's such boy man that I actually can't see him with a girl. But I know his heart would melt the moment the little girl said "Papi" and gave him a big cuddle.

We've had a few comments about the name. I didn't actually think it was all that unusual but I guess if I wasn't living with a German it would be strange to me too. Timo is pronounced "Teemo" and is not and uncommon name in Germany/Holland/Scandiland. And yes it also happens to be another Formula 1 driver, Timo Glock, just like Ralf Schumacher. You can tell where we get our inspiration! Luckily for me, sadly for Mr M, our boys will most likely be too tall to be F1 drivers. Most are about 5'8 with shoes on. We'll have to focus on tennis, swimming, football (the round ball type) and rugby.

So how am I feeling? Apart from being sore from the c-sec and having sore nipples (Mama LS was right, it does hurt again the second time boo hoo), I feel absolutely fine. Master T just seems so easy. He sleeps, eats, sleeps, poos, eats, sleeps etc. He doesn't seem as alert or noise sensitive as Master R (oh dear, the comparisons have started already), and just seems like a calmer baby in general. If I could use one word to sum up how I feel it's lazy. Completely and utterly lazy. I don't feel like doing a single thing but lazing about on the sofa knitting. I don't even feel like walking up all the hideous stairs in this house to bed. Just sitting. And knitting.

My mum's here for another 8 days so I've decided just to spend that time doing as much sitting and knitting as possible. Then the fun will begin.

Master R on the other hand isn't doing quite so well. But that's another blog post.

Toddler toothbrushing tantrums

I'd really love some advice. I go through toddler tantrums every day twice a day with Master R when it comes to brushing his teeth. I feel ready to just give up! I've tried different toothbrushes, mine, Mr Mr's, electric and handheld, different flavours and brands of toothpaste and nothing helps. He'll gladly eat off the toothpaste or turn on and off the brush but he just won't give the teeth a brush. I try to demonstrate and get him to copy me but nothing. I then have to hold him down and gently attempt to brush them while he thrashes about and screams as if I'm administering torture.

Any suggestions or experiences welcomed!

Pink or blue baby booties?

Today I had my big ultrasound appointment where Mister T and I learned the genders of the twins. We were so anxious to find out! It was a two-hour appointment and I wondered if they would wait until the end to tell us.

In the first two minutes we learned that Baby AA is a boy! He is so active rolling around and kicking. He will be the first to be born based on his position.

After an hour of taking his measurements, checking his organs, counting his fingers, listening to his heart and taking cute pictures for us to take home, we moved over to Baby BB. We had to wait for Baby BB to open the legs for us to find out the gender. Meanwhile Baby AA kept coming into the picture by throwing his arms and kicking his legs into his sibling as he kept rolling around.

Then Baby BB rolled over and showed us she is a girl! We have a really cute picture of her resting her head on her brother's head (with just a millimeter of a membrane between them).

Mister T and I are so happy to be expecting a baby boy and a baby girl! And we are most happy that everything looked good on the ultrasound.

The doctor came in at the end of the appointment to talk about the ultrasound results. He told us that our main focus now should be keeping the twins inside as long as possible. The big risk is premature labor. Mister T then asked if there is anything we can do. The doctor quickly replied that yes, there is something that can be done. This is the point where I wish I had a tape recorder or pen and paper on hand.

He advised that I should lay down for an hour each morning and for three to four hours in the late afternoon. I had to hold back from bursting out with laughter! A doctor had just told my husband that I must rest between 4 and 7 every day!

On the way home Mister T wanted to get an afternoon coffee. I asked him if he wanted to go to Starbucks or Peets. He chose Peets which was two blocks farther so I made sure to tell him that the extra walking may necessitate an extra half hour of resting this evening!

Source: www.mysunwillshine.com

Summer luau

As my mother always told me when you have a really bad day everything will be better tomorrow. How true. Today the Golden Gate Mothers Group (the West Coast version of HRP Mamas) hosted a free summer luau at our neighborhood park, Julius Kahn (referred to by locals as J.K.).

J.K. with the cypress trees of the Presidio National Park in the background

The festivities started at ten this morning. Mister T, Miss L and I walked over to be welcomed by balloons and leis. They had jumpy houses set up by age group. Miss L jumped and played in the toddler house. They also had wonderful themed crafts, like making your own lei and coloring your own beach ball. There was face painting and temporary tattoos. Miss L chose flowers and a seahorse for each arm. She didn't care for the application of the tattoos (holding a wet sponge to her arm for 20 seconds), but she was very pleased with the finished products.

A DJ was playing funky 70's music and early 80's MJ hits. They filled inflatable tubs with bubble liquid and had gigantic bubble wands the kids could dip in and whirl around to create giant bubbles. Each child was given a ticket for a free Popsicle so Miss L tasted her first for the summer (strawberry, of course). They also offered free snacks, such as diced fruit and bananas. And at the end everyone could pick out party gifts from big buckets filled with bath toys and beach toys.

It was a really well-organized, fun event. Miss L loved running from station to station to try everything as well as getting some time to enjoy the sand and slides in the playground. I could tell she was tired as we strolled home, up the two big hills to our street. Of course as soon as we got home she had to kick her beach ball around the house before agreeing to take her afternoon nap. Now she is soundly sleeping away. We'll hit the pool for family swim when she wakes up.

I heart Dr. Michel

Source: www.tribecapediatrics.com

I feel so lucky to have had Dr. Michel Cohen as Miss L's pediatrician while we were in New York. I always thought that Tribeca Pediatrics was a wonderful practice. Dr. Michel rode his bike over to our apartment for Miss L's first appointment the afternoon we arrived home from the hospital. He gave us great reassurance and support as new parents. We enjoyed his low intervention, common sense approach. We always looked forward to our appointments, especially Miss L. She loved playing in the waiting room and looking at the fish in the patient rooms. She never fussed during her appointments and always wanted to run around between the rooms to follow the nurses and say hello to the other patients. She was eager to run into Dr. Michel's arms when he came in the room and when she was a newborn she did a lot of cooing and later rolling around the exam table. In fact, whenever we strolled by Tribeca Pediatrics on Warren Street, Miss L pointed and motioned that she wanted to go inside.

So I will admit that there is a very high bar to impress me with a new pediatrics practice here in SF. Needless to say we were extremely disappointed (and traumatized) by our first visit to a new pediatrician this afternoon. I had taken recommendations from local moms and was excited that the practice was within walking distance (still feeling like a New Yorker walking to the doctor). Mister T went with us, which is a good thing because he might have thought I was exaggerating about what happened.

We walked in the front door to find a drab white medical office that could have been mistaken for a lab or ENT practice. There wasn't a toy in sight. No bright and whimsical wall-size paintings. No hip, modern decor. No train table or push toys. The air was humid and stuffy (and San Francisco is not a humid place, there is always a cool bay breeze).

When we checked in the receptionist looked up our appointment and asked if this was our one-year appointment. I told her it wasn't since Miss L was 22 months. We were taken to a patient room, which also didn't have a toy in it. There were a couple of old books that you would expect to find in a dilapidated public school that lacks funding to buy books that were published in the last 20 years. There were cabinets at toddler height with no safety latches that held medical supplies. Miss L was bored immediately and was trying to open them and pull out the tongue depressors. The room was so sterile and uncomfortable. There was no place for me to sit so I just stood, trying to fill out a myriad of paperwork while Mister T tried to keep Miss L out of trouble.

Here is where it gets even better. The nurse came in and without acknowledging Miss L told us she needed to take her weight. We had to take Miss L out of the patient room to an adult scale in the hallway and try to get her to stand on it (with all of her clothes on). She didn't like this so Mister T had to get on the scale with her and then by himself. There was no way I was going to voluntarily be weighed!

Then we returned to the patient room where the nurse told Mister T to shut the door because Miss L was going to cry while she took her length and there was another nurse outside our room who was on the phone that couldn't be disturbed. All I could think was maybe she wouldn't expect her patients to cry if she showed even the slightest bedside manner and actually interacted with the children (and maybe with a smile on her face).

After all of this the doctor finally came in to see Miss L. She didn't interact with her much at all. She just asked us a few quick questions and then wanted to see if we had any questions. We discussed the immunizations that would be needed at the 2 year appointment. She seemed impressed that Tribeca Pediatrics had electronic patient records when looking at their wonderful graphs showing Miss L's development from Day 1. Then she debated aloud whether she should take a stethoscope out and even check Miss L. She seemed afraid to approach her on this first visit.

Since this was supposed to be more of a meet-and-greet appointment, Miss L did not have any shots, but she left the office screaming and crying inconsolably and stayed that way hugging me tightly the whole way home. Oh, and right before we left the receptionist asked me if I wanted to book Miss L's 15-month appointment.

My conclusion: Miss L and I should come back to see Dr. Michel for her 2 year appointment. When I see him I will ask if he wouldn't mind relocating to SF and before he makes the move if he could ride his bike out to California for the twins first doctor's appointment.

Using real nappies

Source: Green Baby

Following Mama H's post on World Environment Day I have taken a look at how eco-friendly my parenting is. I was a prolific user of paper towels using rolls a week to clean up after messy Master R. Conscience pricked I discovered that Green Baby had these fantastic washable wipes. They're so soft and durable. I've bought a couple of packs now and are so much softer on Master R's face too. He now uses them to clean his own face and hands during and after eating.

Encouraged by my experience with the wipes I thought about washable nappies. Because I live in an "underprivileged" postcode the council will pay £54.91 towards washable nappies. I received my voucher and went back to Green Baby to research nappy options. Many of them are really bulky with lots of different layers. I chose the Itti Bitti nappies. They have two layers that clip inside but don't seem bulky.

The downside is that I do have to change them more often than disposables. With the disposables I'd change Master R's nappy maybe 4 times a day now I need to do it about 6 times or he pees straight through it! I only have 4 nappies for the moment so I use them until I've run out and then switch to disposables. I guess I'm also lucky that Master R only does number 2s every 2-3 days so washing is easy. I just throw the wet nappies in the washing machine and wash them with the next load.

Verdict? I will buy some more and try to use predominantly real nappies. As for baby 2 I won't be using real nappies for a while - newborns poop far too much and I'm not scrubbing them...

Parenting two, my own little DIY

Hello Mamas. I have been enjoying reading all of your posts and have been meaning to post sooner but honestly, I have never been more exhausted and overwhelmed with LIFE in general. I am also not that cyber savvy. Tonight Mister TS and I are relaxing sans TV while Masters D and G rest soundly (my biggest accomplishment of late but more on that later.) Because of a late lunch out I didn't have to cook or clean so I am finding myself with the time and just enough energy to reach out to my fellow Mama friends.
It seems like a good time. Summer is the time when everyone is coming and going, vacationing here and there and getting out of NYC and out of touch. There are also many Mamas about to join the club of Mamas of 2, and of 3 (!) and those deciding if/when its right for them. I have only knit scarves and have difficulty finishing most projects but I may have something to contribute in the department of parenting. For me Master D was all I ever needed. Even throughout those crazy stages of out of control jet black hair, skinny legs and pale skin I believed there was no other child that was more beautiful. But we wanted him to have a sibling. As I was pregnant with Master G my 2 biggest fears were: will I fall for him as hard and will I lose my first love Master D? Having come 6 months through the other side I have decided to make a list of things I have learned and experienced for you to enjoy, learn, ignore whatever...
1. Labor the second time around was easier. Good news: the cervix remembers Bad news: everything is looser (great)
2. The highs and lows of breast feeding remain. Good news: the constant fear of whether he/she is getting enough is second string to the fear of is my oldest going to smother the baby as he/she climbs ON TOP of me while I am breast feeding. (I wish I had a photograph of the time Master D stood on top of the nursing pillow, his feet next to Master G's body while he lay there and nurse with me sitting in the glider attempting to balance it all.) Bad news: nipples do not remember, they are just as tender and apt to crack and bleed as they were the first time (WTF?!)
3. Babies DO sleep alot! Wow what were we complaining about the first time?
4. Babies DONT sleep through the night, ah that's why we were complaining.
5. Getting both to sleep through the night (my definition of sleep through the night is 10-12 hours) and one coinciding nap was my JOB for the first few months. WILL it to happen. Envision what you want and make it happen. If they dont sleep you wont and you will need every last drop of energy for a baby and crazy toddler. Get them in the same room asap. The younger they are the more flexible. Do not worry about one waking up the other, they get used to each other very quickly. It is MOST IMPORTANT that the baby learn to fall asleep on his/her own. You will not have the time/energy or patience to rock, bounce or shush the baby while the toddler plays with the loudest toy in the room with you are trying to put the baby down for a nap. Leave the snuggling, rocking etc for times when family are around to help with the toddler.
6. With every month the juggling act gets easier. However Master D's coping seems to change as much as the emotions of a crazy 2 year old.
7. It seems to help to have them do as much together as possible (feeding, dressing, changing, bathing.) The more independent the older one is the better so that your hands are free.
8. Give the older one some control because life for them will seem out of control for a while. Do you want this cup or that one? Toast or waffles? etc
9. Accept help from anyone that offers (unless they are toxic to you.)
10. You will fall head over heels for your future kids just as you did for the first. It is amazing how the heart grows for the newest family member.