8 boys and wanting a girl

It is quite interesting the number of boys we have between us. Out of the 8 mamas only Mama H is lucky enough to have not one but two girls. The rest of us are blessed with little boys. Personally we were really wanting a boy first. Mr M is just a boy boy if that makes sense. Second time around he wanted another boy. I really didn't mind. Again, Mr M got his wish. We'd like to have a 3rd and it would be nice to have a girl. I'd love to make beautiful little dresses for her and paint a room pink. But if number 3 was another boy I really wouldn't be worried. Boys are such fun too.

Last night a documentary aired on four families all desperate for a girl. One family had 8 boys while the others had four boys each. What I found disturbing was the desperation of these mothers. All the fathers were fine with it. Sure, it would be nice to have a girl, but they had healthy children so what's the problem. The mothers were a different story.

One mother went as far as saying that to her not being able to have a girl was the same as a woman who can't conceive at all. A dreadfully selfish and almost disgusting suggestion in my opinion. This woman was blessed with four very beautiful and healthy boys and was bemoaning this fact! The documentary showed her discovering she was pregnant with number 5 and accompanied her to the 18 week scan to see the sex. It was a boy. She sobbed openly in front of her boys about not having a girl. How will these boys grow up, especially the poor little boy number 5?

The mother with 8 boys was now in her mid forties and had been trying for a couple of years to fall pregnant again but it was just not happening. She had largely accepted it.

Two of the mothers, one in the UK, the other in the US, underwent PDG, a IVF type process of selecting only the female embryos for implantation. The practise is illegal in the UK so the British mother travelled to Spain for the process.

It was the second attempt at PDG for the American mother. Unfortunately for her it failed once again. She sobbed openly in front of her boys about not having a girl and her husband was clearly concerned about how this negativity would effect their boys.

It does have a happy ending. The British mother had refused to marry her partner of many years until he gave her a girl. After 4 beautiful boys and a single round of PDG she gave birth to twin girls. She had her fairytale wedding with the young daughters as bridesmaids. The disproportionate attention she gave to the girls while ignoring the boys was disturbing. She highly recommended gender selection as a way of building a balanced family.

Gender selection is actually legal in many US states. What are your views? Will it create an unbalanced society or just enable people to create a balanced family?

Time to put my feet up

Miss L imitating her mommy's bedrest

A few weeks ago I had my usual biweekly ultrasound at the hospital. The twins looked great, growing and developing and moving a lot. They took cute profile pictures of Boy AA and Girl BB that I could take home. At the end of the appointment they measured my cervix, which is a leading indicator of preterm labor, a risk that becomes higher with multiples. They discovered that it had shortened by half so the doctor ordered me downstairs for monitoring. There they hooked me up to a machine to see if I was having contractions. I told them I had only experienced fatigue (associated with chasing after a toddler) and the usual lower back pain associated with pregnancy (especially when your belly has grown to the size of mine with two little ones inside).

Well, the monitor confirmed that I was having contractions. They were mild, but every two minutes. At this point the shots started. I still can't pronounce the medication that was injected into my arm, but I can tell you that the effect was like drinking a barrel of espresso. The jolt was so strong that I could barely say the word "cashmerino" when I was explaining to the nurse that I was knitting a doll for Miss L's upcoming birthday. It took two shots to stop the contractions and then it was decided that I would need to stay overnight for observation, just in case they started again in the middle of the night.

By this time I was worried and nervous, and in a strange hospital all by myself. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. The sobbing started when I realized that I would have to spend my first night away from Miss L. My mother drove in to watch Miss L while Mister T brought me some things to calm me down and distract me, like my knitting bag and stack of New Yorkers that had been piling up.

I was very lucky to have the most amazing nurses taking care of me during my overnight stay. They sat with me for hours trying to assuage my fears, reassure me that Miss L was going to be just fine for this one night and help me talk through how I could make adjustments to my daily routine in order to take it easier. My night nurse came in the room to tuck me in when I was ready to go to sleep. I couldn't have asked for better care.

I returned home the next day and began my regimen of bed rest. I can be on my feet for a few hours a day, but need to lay down the rest of the time. Sitting up counts toward my few hours of being up.

The first few days were tough. I was missing my adventures with Miss L, taking her to the park and the pool. And I really missed being able to pick her up and hold her in my arms. I also started to fear that my household would quickly deteriorate into Grey Gardens without my meticulous upkeep. Luckily, Mister T is home, but this bed rest was going to put a lot on his plate. Speaking of plates, the first thing Mister T recommended that we change was to eat on paper plates (he has never liked doing the dishes)!

After we weathered the transition period (and avoided having to buy paper plates), things started to run smoothly again and everyone adjusted to a new routine, including me coming to grips with what I just can't do or control right now and being okay with it. Mister T is handling everything from picking up Miss L out her crib first thing in the morning to preparing all the meals to cleaning up after the meals to doing all the food shopping to taking Miss L on walks and to the park. Miss L has handled everything wonderfully, although at times she can't help but ask if Mommy can jump up and down and dance with her. I just tell her I will join her very soon again in these fun adventures.

I also remind myself that bed rest can be common with multiples. I'm lucky that it's only a few more months. And the doctor hasn't put me on daily medication or a home monitoring device so while we need to be cautious we don't need to panic. I just need to put my feet up, take deep yoga breaths and enjoy my knitting.

The trend continues: introducing Timo

How can it be that I too have a boy? What's in the water in BPC? What's more, why is everyone I know having two of the same? Strange phenomenon going on. I'm thrilled though. I think secretly I wanted another boy. Master R and Master T will be so close in age that it will be nice to be brothers. Will just have to convince Mr M for another one and this time hope for a girl. Mr M by the way is chuffed to bits to have another boy. He's such boy man that I actually can't see him with a girl. But I know his heart would melt the moment the little girl said "Papi" and gave him a big cuddle.

We've had a few comments about the name. I didn't actually think it was all that unusual but I guess if I wasn't living with a German it would be strange to me too. Timo is pronounced "Teemo" and is not and uncommon name in Germany/Holland/Scandiland. And yes it also happens to be another Formula 1 driver, Timo Glock, just like Ralf Schumacher. You can tell where we get our inspiration! Luckily for me, sadly for Mr M, our boys will most likely be too tall to be F1 drivers. Most are about 5'8 with shoes on. We'll have to focus on tennis, swimming, football (the round ball type) and rugby.

So how am I feeling? Apart from being sore from the c-sec and having sore nipples (Mama LS was right, it does hurt again the second time boo hoo), I feel absolutely fine. Master T just seems so easy. He sleeps, eats, sleeps, poos, eats, sleeps etc. He doesn't seem as alert or noise sensitive as Master R (oh dear, the comparisons have started already), and just seems like a calmer baby in general. If I could use one word to sum up how I feel it's lazy. Completely and utterly lazy. I don't feel like doing a single thing but lazing about on the sofa knitting. I don't even feel like walking up all the hideous stairs in this house to bed. Just sitting. And knitting.

My mum's here for another 8 days so I've decided just to spend that time doing as much sitting and knitting as possible. Then the fun will begin.

Master R on the other hand isn't doing quite so well. But that's another blog post.

Aqua mama

Source: www.jccsf.org

When I was pregnant with Miss L I practiced yoga everyday and was enjoying headstands (against a wall of course!) up until delivery. This time around I can't get enough of the pool.

We joined the Jewish Community Center, which is just three blocks from our house. I love that I can walk over in a few minutes (especially when I feel I am always running late trying to get out of the house with a toddler). Our family membership is the same cost as my single membership was at Equinox so I feel like I am getting great value for our money. Miss L and I have created a nice pool routine that we share together twice a week.

After breakfast on Tuesdays and Thursdays we put our suits on and pack our swim bag and head off to the JCC. I take Miss L to the children's pool (which is heated to a lovely 90 degrees) from 8:00 to 9:00. She practices paddling, kicking and putting her head under water (her favorite thing to do right now). The more we go the more comfortable Miss L has become in the water. Today she started walking around the shallow end scooping up the pool toys and dipping her head under water on her own. Of course, I am always at arms-length to be safe. We also spend some time hanging out on the steps playing with plastic whales and turtles and pool rings. We also blow bubbles, sing songs and do a few seated jumps into the water from the side of the pool.

After pool time, Miss L loves to have her own shower to rinse off. We get changed (while Miss L chats it up with the other women in the locker room, saying "pool" and pretending to blow bubbles) and then we head over to JCC's cafe and have a snack. Then I drop her off at the JCC child care for some play time while I get to have my own time in the pool.

I take an hour long prenatal aqua class. It takes place in the deep end of the adult pool (not quite as warm at 80 degrees, but once you start moving it feels just perfect). We wear little flotation devices that fit right under the shoulder bones on the back with a belt that snaps in the front and sits right above the pregnant belly. This gives a great feeling of buoyancy in the water. The class is spent moving up and down the length of the pool doing cross country, running, breaststrokes with bicycle legs as well as some stationary work like side kicks, jumping jacks with weights and wide-leg pedaling.

The classes are taught by two doulas so when we aren't too out of breath we discuss our pregnancies and questions/thoughts on labor and delivery. The class is a nice mix of regulars, including first-time and second-time moms. After class we often go to the warmer children's pool to stretch, hang out and talk about maternity clothes and what we are going to eat for lunch after class.

When I pick up Miss L from child care she is happy from the full morning and ready for her midday nap by the time we arrive home. By noon she is asleep in her room and I can prepare my lunch and read the Times (Thursdays being the best with House & Home and Styles).

I just love how my body feels after spending most of the morning in the water. I feel refreshed and relaxed. I feel more energized later in the day to take Miss L to the playground. And I sleep so soundly at night.

For all of the pregnant mamas, I highly recommend booking some pool time this summer!

A month today I'll meet my new baby

On 27 August I'll finally get to meet my new son or daughter. I'm actually starting to feel that it's real now after months of almost denial. This pregnancy is so different emotionally. I haven't had the luxury of spending the time to really feel the love or even bond with the unborn child in the way I did with Master R. When you already have a child, it's just so different to the first.

With the first pregnancy I spent hours singing and stroking my stomach. This time I'm lucky to get a 5 minute shower when Master R goes to sleep. I have no doubt that as soon as I meet him/her my heart will just melt and I'll be completely smitten - as Mama LS said in her debut post. But right now I'm so completely absorbed with everything else that I haven't had a chance to dwell on the baby - something I will change as soon as he/she is born.

On Friday I went for the final scan. I didn't see Master R past 20 weeks so this was such a treat! I did get teary as I gazed upon the face on my child for the first time. Perhaps not knowing the sex of a child limits the bonding to a certain extent. I still can't tell if it's a boy or girl from the face. These images always seem so abstract to me. What do you think?

Surprise in Spain

Source: Baby Surrey

I met Suzette and her daughter Honey recently at a mothers group in my area. We then met up again recently with another mother for a playdate in the park. Our kiddies are all around the same age so it was nice for them to play - and yes, nice for the mums to chat!

As mums do we got to talking about our births. Suzette them told us about her horrific experience with Honey. She had 12 weeks to go and thought it was fine to go to Spain to visit her family. Unfortunately her waters broke while she was there and needless to say she had a terrible experience. This is an interview that appeared in Baby Surrey*. It's well worth the read but be prepared - this story is a tearjerker. Especially how wonderful her husband is. Thankfully Honey is now a perfect little 18 month old toddler.

I just hope that my baby 2 doesn't decide to come early. As much as I'd love him/her out from a discomfort perspective, my little baby is much better off cooking for 10 moreweeks.

*I couldn't find a link to the article on their website but you should be able to click on the images above and they'll be large enough to read.

My blog on Blossom Mother and Child

Source: Blossom Mother and Child

Just a quick note to let you know that my pregnancy blog is up and running on Blossom Mother and Child. I sat next to the head of marketing for Blossom at a Fashion Business Club event. We chatted for a while about the maternity clothing market and my loathing of in store shopping. A couple of weeks later she contacted me about blogging for them. I was thrilled at the chance to connect with even more mummies so accepted.

My first post is about test driving some jeans. After wearing one pair through the last trimester of pregnancy one it is nice to have a couple more at my disposal - especially now I go through a pair a day with messy Master R's sticky fingers.

Thank you to Blossom for the opportunity to write for you and Mamas, I'll keep you up to date with my posts.

Is it a boy or a girl? The odds of each gender

Source: Knockedupcelebs.com

Sometime in February before I left NYC I remember walking along the Hudson with Mamas A and V (all of us boy mamas). We somehow got on the subject of what sex we had hoped our first baby would be and what our husbands had hoped for. I can't remember the specifics but something Mama A mentioned that she'd read something that said that the odds of your second child being the same sex as the first child are actually higher - so you're more likely to have a boy for number two if your number one is a boy and same for girls.

If you look around at our group alone Mama LS (welcome our newest blogger!) has recently had her second boy, another friend V is having her second boy any day now and our own Mama J is expecting her second boy in September. All my friends here in London are having two boys! I'm not making this up. All of them! Strange...

We've decided not to find out the sex of our baby. Mr M wants another boy because he "won't know what to do with a girl". He thinks this baby is a girl. I'm fine either way. A little boy would be a nice playmate for Master R as there's only 18mths between them. But a little girl is just beautiful. All the wonderful little dresses I could knit/crochet/sew for her! The ribbons in her hair and the pretty mummy and me outfits - ok, that's a bit crazy... Now I'm thinking maybe we should have found out? The wait is killing me...

So after pondering the odds I stumbled upon this fantastic research by InGender: The straight truth about gender selection. The numbers are all a little off because of the fact that of all births in the US 51% are boys anyway. So this needs to be taken into account when you look at subsequent births.

You'll need to look at the site to get the full gist of the stats. But interestingly the odds of having a girl seem decrease after having each boy, but only very slightly. Even after 3 boys, you are only 6.4% more likely to have a 4th boy than a girl. The odds of having a boy seem to increase after having girls, except after 2 girls, when a 3rd girl is more likely.

"The bottom line: Although we often hear the "statistic" that you are 30% or even 70% more likely to keep having the same gender, this is just an old wives tale. It is NOT a fact. The truth is, your odds stay pretty close to 50% for each child and only vary slightly. If you have had 2 or 3 boys, you are only about 2% to 6% more likely to have another boy. If you have had girls, you are slightly more likely to have a boy next."

Hmm so there's a 2-6% chance I'm having another boy. Mama J do you still think I'm having a boy?