A tough decision...

As some of you mamas know, we've been trying to establish a peaceable kingdom between our dog Kishi, a ten year-old Shiba Inu, and Master X for some time now.  As a breed, shibas are prone to dominance, anxiety, jealousy and a general dislike for other animals and in our case, small children.  They do best with one or two owners, which was what Mister B and his former spouse were when they bought her.  Shibas are not known to be great family pets, although I am sure in some situations, they are.  Unfortunately, this is not the case for us.

When I was pregnant with Master X, I grew increasingly anxious about how the dog would react to the baby in the house.  She had displayed some aggressive behavior in the lobby of our building towards toddlers... barking at them as we approached.  Needless to say, I held her leash tightly in place and moved her out of view until the child and his nanny made it into the elevator.  She behaved similarly towards my friend's then seven year-old daughter, although it was likely that she was simply scared by the kid screeching her name and attempting to chase her around our apartment.  

Still, given the fact I knew she was prone to such behavior, I felt it necessary to seek professional help before our bundle arrived.  Our dog trainer was great, at the 'bargain' price of $125 an hour.  I worked with her for five sessions in the afternoon, since it was too much for Mister B to deal with after working a full day.  After a while, we just stopped.  Our dog walkers were not reinforcing the behavior and Kishi was resistant to change, often refusing to walk on the special harness we were using to train her.  I bought a "baby sounds" CD and prayed for the best.  She seemed totally unfazed by the sounds of gurgling, cooing and wailing babies that emanated from our CD player.

Surprisingly, nothing much happened after Master X was born.  I sent a baby blanket home from the hospital for the dog to smell, and she was totally disinterested.  We made it a point to allow her in the baby's room, so she wouldn't feel left out or jealous.  We let her sniff his head and smell his toys.  For the most part, aside from wanting a little bit of extra attention, Kishi could have cared less about Master X, and Master X was oblivious to her.  I apologized to Mister B for panicking and telling everyone who asked how worried I was to have the dog in the house with the baby.  Just to be safe, I never left them alone together.

Things changed a bit when Mister X became mobile and started to understand what Kishi was.  He delighted in seeing her run around and chase her tail, often laughing when she did something silly.  He also began to follow her and look for her when she was absent from the room.  We knew that he knew who she was last summer because whenever he saw her, he would growl, just as Kishi did.  Some of those growls were directed at him, but most of them were the noises she made when we returned home after a day at the beach and she was excited to see us.  Aside from the few and far between aforementioned growls, she still kept a distance, preferring Mister B or me to Master X, with the exception of his toys, which bore a striking resemblance to the furry things and balls she had in her toy bin.

When Master X learned to talk, he called her "shi-shi" and took great pleasure in seeing her every morning and after her walks.  He tried to throw her toys to her so she would chase them and frequently offered her cookies, which would then prompt me to yell "No!" and grab his hand away from her mouth.  Mister B started telling everyone that Kishi was getting used to Master X and that we hoped they could peacefully coexist.

Things began to change a few months ago.  Master X grew increasingly more interested in her, wanting to hold her leash when we went on walks, which was so cute to see, and trying to pet her much the way we adults did.  He tried to get her to dance with him once, reaching for her paws as his father and I sprang into action, knowing that her paws were off limits to everyone.  He reached for her tail when she walked by and loved plopping down on her bed.  Master X seemed perfectly happy with his puppy.  The trouble was that his puppy wasn't entirely pleased with the living situation.  She growled at him more frequently, often baring her teeth at him if he got too close.  Luckily, Mister B, our nanny and I have been extremely diligent about close supervision.  It's one of the primary reasons we still have a 'baby jail' in our apartment.

Over the course of the past month while we've been at the beach, the situation has begun to deteriorate.  Kishi is even less tolerant of Master X and his advances, and in the past two weeks has snapped at him a handful of times.  On one occasion, she seemed to try to bite him, but I was so close and pushed her away before it could actually get to that point.  On other occasions, I think she's just been warning him to stay away.  She snapped three separate times yesterday, sending Master X whimpering into my arms.  I know it's not entirely her fault, since Master X does most of the provoking.  On the other hand, our child's safety has to come first, regardless.  

All of this has prompted Mister B, as her primary owner, to make the difficult decision to arrange an alternate living arrangement for the dog he's loved for ten years.  We won't be sending Kishi to a shelter or to live with a complete stranger.  She will reside with her 'other mother,' a woman she lived with until she was two and with whom she has spent many weekends.  She will have the same dog walkers and Mister B will visit her for walks, etc.

Of course, I know that visiting a dog for walks is hardly the same as having a dog in the house.  I'm terribly sad for Mister B, who nursed Kishi through hip dysplasia surgery when she was a puppy and has cared for her much like a child.  In fact, I knew he would be a good father when I saw the way he gingerly extracted a piece of salt from her paw after a snowy winter's walk.  We had only been dating a few months.  I lost my own family dog a few years back and remember the grief I felt over not having her around.  I suspect that giving a dog away is much the same, even though visiting is still a possibility.  I will certainly miss Kishi, although she has been quite the headache these past few months.  In eight years, I've grown to love her, too, though not the way Mister B loves her.

In addition, I'm sad for Master X.  I don't know how I'll look in his sweet brown eyes and tell him that Kishi is gone for good.  Even though she doesn't like him much, he has no clue of that, and he loves her anyway.  What kind of confusion will he feel when he no longer sees her bed in its familiar place or her toys littered throughout the hallway.  Just today, he woke up from his nap and craned his neck to see her sleeping in the hallway outside the bedroom doors.  "Kishi, come here!" he said.

I wish there was another solution, one where we could keep our dog and trust that she won't hurt our child, or the one on the way.  Unfortunately, we can't.

The fun of meeting other mums

I've told you all offline about my experience with the first mum I met. There's a bitter sweet story there that Mama J can fill you in or at a playgroup as I don't want to put it online. Needless to say that relationship has been nipped in the bud. But it doesn't get any less entertaining!

Met another mum in the playground. She is due with number two around the same time as me. Her little boy is a lively 2.5yr old. She seemed nice enough, different background to me, but hey, it takes all sorts in life. We met on Tuesday afternoon and her little boy was rummaging through her purse when he pulled out a small packet with dried green leaves. She laughed, grabbed it and then said she'd met with the dealer before meeting me to score for her husband. I'm just imagining a heavily pregnant mother with a young son meeting a dealer on the corner. Oh dear. I certainly can pick them. I told Mr M who agreed that while it's probably a little "harmless" stress relief for them, it was a little too dangerous to keep company like that incase we're implicated in anything.

I did meet another nice mother today at a fantastic local indoor softplay group. She has a 22mth old daughter and is expecting number two a month after me. We chatted about babies, of course, and about how it was nice that they charge for the class as it keeps the standard high (Oh dear we do sound elitist. We're not I promise. It's just the area we live in) then said we'd see each other next week. No stalking. Hopefully no drugs. Hopefully a new friend for Master R and me.

Using real nappies

Source: Green Baby

Following Mama H's post on World Environment Day I have taken a look at how eco-friendly my parenting is. I was a prolific user of paper towels using rolls a week to clean up after messy Master R. Conscience pricked I discovered that Green Baby had these fantastic washable wipes. They're so soft and durable. I've bought a couple of packs now and are so much softer on Master R's face too. He now uses them to clean his own face and hands during and after eating.

Encouraged by my experience with the wipes I thought about washable nappies. Because I live in an "underprivileged" postcode the council will pay £54.91 towards washable nappies. I received my voucher and went back to Green Baby to research nappy options. Many of them are really bulky with lots of different layers. I chose the Itti Bitti nappies. They have two layers that clip inside but don't seem bulky.

The downside is that I do have to change them more often than disposables. With the disposables I'd change Master R's nappy maybe 4 times a day now I need to do it about 6 times or he pees straight through it! I only have 4 nappies for the moment so I use them until I've run out and then switch to disposables. I guess I'm also lucky that Master R only does number 2s every 2-3 days so washing is easy. I just throw the wet nappies in the washing machine and wash them with the next load.

Verdict? I will buy some more and try to use predominantly real nappies. As for baby 2 I won't be using real nappies for a while - newborns poop far too much and I'm not scrubbing them...

Finished but ungifted gift knits

You can be forgiven for thinking that all I do is knit. I do actually look after a child, highly reliant partner and run a business too! I just squeeze in as much knitting as possible in the evenings when I don't have the brain power to do anything else.

These knits (and one crochet) are a little different. All but the top vest were started over a year ago and intended as gifts. For some reason they were never quite finished. Until today. While my darling Master R took a 4 hour nap I finished all four projects allowing me to cross them off my WIPS list. However, it's a bitter sweet completion because it reminds me of what a slack gift knitter I am.

The navy jumper (sweater) with the orange was intended as a gift for Mama V's Master K on his first birthday. I had finished all the knitting when I realised it was HUGE. It would fit a 5 year old. So I rushed to Borders and bought some books instead feeling really guilty that I couldn't provide a proper handknitted item.

The bunny blankie was intended as a gift for a friend who had her second baby in September. I actually knitted the whole thing while driving (I was a passenger obviously) from NYC to Philadelphia. But I never got around to stitching on the face until today. It will have to be a little snuggly for my baby now!

The crocheted bear/pig/monkey - can't remember what it's supposed to be - started life as a gift for an Australian friend (hence the green and gold Aussie colours) living in New York when she had her second baby. However this was the first thing I had ever crocheted and part of my learning process. As a result I was never happy with it. The arms and legs are all different sizes and the eyes look odd. Despite it's imperfections I stitched it together this afternoon and Mr M thought it was so cute and said baby 2 will love it. Not sure about that but it's too hideously made to give away!

The beautiful cabled vest at the top is my way of making it up to my friends. I started this on Saturday and already it was finished today. A wonderfully quick and impressive vest that will be wrapped and given to a friend's little boy on his second birthday next weekend. Of course I can see the imperfections, but I'm determined to overlook these and realise that it is a handknit and that's all part of the beauty.

I will wrap the vest and gift it next weekend.

A Multi-Cultural Birthday Celebration

It's been about four months since Master X and I have appeared on the TKM blog. I've certainly grown delinquent in my postings, although I can hardly blame the first trimester, since we all know what pregnant Mamas N, J and now H have been up to... baking, knitting, decorating, moving across the pond and across the country. I can say that I've been trying to get this story of mine completed before baby #2 arrives in December, which has taken every ounce of my (not so) creative energy when Master X is napping or sleeping or with his sitter, which he isn't when we're away at the beach.

That being said, I've decided to jump back in the ring, even though my post seems to have lines in it. I can't say we'll be as frequent as some, but Master X and I will do our best... he'll try to take long naps and I'll try to work on the brain waves part. And what better subject for our first return post than Master X's second birthday? (It was three days ago, but still...)

Two... can you believe it? Master X is the oldest of our playgroup friends, and therefore the first to reach this milestone. I found his first birthday to be extremely emotional for me, as it seemed only months ago that I'd given birth and I was completely awed by the toothy, crawling creature that had once been my infant. I have to say that I found two to be much the same way, in that it was equally as awe-inspiring to see him looking so much more like a kid than a baby, as he worked the room, opened presents and refused to eat anything but the orange carrot cake that his Vivi (my mother) decorated to look like a lion.

When he awoke at 6am on his birthday morning, happily singing the "Hello" song from Music Together, my first thought was, "I can't believe I've kept him alive for two years!" It was more of a throwback to the absolutely exhilarating and terrifying first days of his life when I realized that they were actually letting me leave the hospital with him than anything macabre. I know I'm a very competent mother. Still, toddlers are into everything and have no fear, as we are all too aware! Master X puts himself in peril umpteen times a day and it's my responsibility to keep him safe and unharmed. So I counted as Mister B and I listened to the singing... seven hundred and thirty days.

Master X is blessed to have a family that absolutely, unconditionally adores him. In addition to his aforementioned Vivi, beloved Auntie C and Uncle G, and grandfather from New Jersey, Master X had the privilege of visitors from very far away... his Nana from Tacoma, his eighty-eight year old Great-Grandma (GG) from Bainbridge Island, and Mister B's cousin Yayoi, all the way from Okinawa. GG is also Okinawan, although she has lived in the United States for approximately sixty years. It was a long trek for GG, since it is growing increasingly difficult for her to move around, but it was important to her to see her favorite grandson's child another time while she still felt well enough to make the trip. We were very pleased to have her here, since she is a gracious woman with many stories to tell... and because she loves Mister B and Master X very much.

Master X's birthday was full of activities, including a trip to the weekly farmer's market, where he dragged his significantly older Japanese cousin around like he owned her, and to the beach, where he played in the water with his aunt and uncle. Mister B took him to 'Crab Town,' where he saw the hermit crabs and then to see the bright orange kayak that was his Father's Day gift.

His official party - everything orange- began in the evening, and though everyone else feasted on homemade pizza, Master X insisted on carrying an orange bowl of tortilla chips around the house. His favorite part of the day was most certainly gift time, where he received everything from a water table and remote-control car to a kimono, complete with matching socks and flip-flops, and a golden boar full of sake, purchased in Okinawa to commemorate the fact that he was born in the auspicious year of the golden pig.

The mostly orange birthday celebration culminated in the cake, where Master X sang, "Happy Birthday to Me," and ate two pieces before settling for licking icing from the "2" candle. After that, he ran around for a bit on a sugar high and crashed into bed only an hour late, with his best friend Bunny and his entourage, ready to work his way to three.

Mister B and I collapsed into bed a few hours later, feeling blessed to have both an amazing, happy, healthy child and a very diverse family that will travel all sorts of hours to celebrate with us.

A Lovely Summer Pasta

Photo by Petrina Tinslay

When Mr. E and I first met, he lived on West 180th St. and I lived on the more "gritty" East 18oth St. side. His apartment overlooked the George Washington Bridge and the pristine Jersey coast that Rockefeller bought to preserve the views from the Cloisters. He lived just steps from Fort Tryon Park and the cute, Hudson Heights section of Washington Heights. On the other side of the tracks, literally, my roommate and I lived four walk-up stories above a courtyard full of pitbulls. Music blared at all hours of the day and night, young drug dealers in "Don't Snitch" t-shirts manned every corner, and we had a rat the size of my mom's daschund living in our oven. I spent most of my time teaching, attending grad school and nannying on the weekends, so the dismal conditions didn't really phase me. Looking back, it was pretty bad, but so cheap!

When I finally met Mr. E and got the hang of his side of the neighborhood, I was hooked. The first time I cooked him a meal it was in his kitchen, so I tried to make it as simple and fool-proof as possible to dazzle him with my culinary ease. Nigella Lawson, the sultry British chef, is the epitome of thrown-together deliciousness, so I turned to her for a recipe. Her crab pasta calls for shelled crab, which Nigella said could be found in fish markets. When I stepped into a fish stand in the Bronx and asked the purveyor to shell the crab legs he looked at me like I was crazy. Manhattan fishmongers might be more accomodating, or you can buy fancy-looking bags of crab at Zeytuna market in their fish department. I have also been known to buy the canned stuff in a pinch and it's still tasty, but the chunkier texture of the fresh crab or the bag is better.

Crab Linguini (Source: www.cookstr.com)

Serves 6 as a starter; 4 as a main course.

Ingredients

• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 scant tablespoon Maldon or other sea salt
• 1 large red chilli
• 2 pounds 11 ounces undressed crab, to give you 7 ounces white meat and 4 ounces darker meat
• ½ cup extra virgin olive oil
• juice and zest of 1 lemon
• 1 pound linguine
• handful fresh parsley, chopped
• handful watercress leaves, roughly torn

Method: How to cook crab linguini

1.Put a large pan of water on to boil for the pasta.

2.In a large pestle and mortar pulverise the peeled garlic cloves with the salt, so that it makes a smooth paste. Then add the chopped and seeded chilli and crush again until you have a gloriously red-tinged mixture.

3.Tip in the crab meat, breaking it up gently with a fork, and pour in the oil. Zest the lemon into the mortar and then add the juice. Using a fork, beat well to mix, and then you are ready to cook your pasta.

4.So do so, and then drain the pasta and tip into a warmed serving bowl. Immediately pour over the crab sauce and toss the pasta about in it, then throw in the parsley and watercress and toss again.

A month today I'll meet my new baby

On 27 August I'll finally get to meet my new son or daughter. I'm actually starting to feel that it's real now after months of almost denial. This pregnancy is so different emotionally. I haven't had the luxury of spending the time to really feel the love or even bond with the unborn child in the way I did with Master R. When you already have a child, it's just so different to the first.

With the first pregnancy I spent hours singing and stroking my stomach. This time I'm lucky to get a 5 minute shower when Master R goes to sleep. I have no doubt that as soon as I meet him/her my heart will just melt and I'll be completely smitten - as Mama LS said in her debut post. But right now I'm so completely absorbed with everything else that I haven't had a chance to dwell on the baby - something I will change as soon as he/she is born.

On Friday I went for the final scan. I didn't see Master R past 20 weeks so this was such a treat! I did get teary as I gazed upon the face on my child for the first time. Perhaps not knowing the sex of a child limits the bonding to a certain extent. I still can't tell if it's a boy or girl from the face. These images always seem so abstract to me. What do you think?

An overlooked finished object

Most of my knitting is done for others. Generally for my darling Master R. But as I look through my Ravelry queue I've done a lot for myself but I'm just never happy with it. If it's not perfect I can't wear it. I'll be embarrassed to say that I made it and will have to tell anyone who comments on it how terrible it is and point out its every blemish. Perhaps I'm too hard on myself?

This cardigan however is different. I actually started it while on a terrible 8 hour bumper to bumper traffic jammed trip to Boston last summer. I managed to finish the back, front and start each of the sleeves before we arrived home and it was cast aside in favour of more wintery knits.

In desperate need of a white cardigan I resumed the project a couple of months ago. What struck me is the way my knitting had changed in a year. Where I had restarted the sleeves there was a clear line of distinction. The older knitting was looser and less uniform while my new knitting lovely and tight with all the stitches standing as they should. I nearly ripped back the old knitting and started again but then I thought that this is what makes a handknit unique and beautiful. Maybe I need a little imperfection?


I'm really happy with how this turned out. It's small enough and tight enough to look great over dresses and the fine cotton (all knitted on size US2 needles!!) the perfect weight for the British "summer". It's inspired me to do a bit more knitting for myself. I just need to get through all these gift knits first. Everyone, stop having babies please!

Sea lions, elephant seals and harbor seals, oh my!

As some of you may already know I used to volunteer at The Marine Mammal Center in Sausalito. I worked on the Tuesday night crew feeding and caring for sick and injured sea lions, elephant seals and harbor seals. Mister T and I took Miss L out to see the newly refurbished hospital recently. I hadn't been to the hospital in eight years so I was very excited to see the new facilities.

The Center went through a multi-million dollar renovation and the result is really astounding. The Marine Mammal Center has treated over 14,000 marine mammals since it opened in 1975. It is staffed entirely by volunteers except for a small team of paid veterinarians.

On the day that we went they had 191 sea lions and seals admitted. Most were California sea lion yearlings who were malnourished (possibly by warm "el nino" waters that are affecting their food supply).

It was inspiring to see the army of volunteers making fish shakes for tube feedings, stuffing meds in herring and monitoring the health of the seal pups. A lot of things looked pleasantly familiar, just nicer digs for the seals and better facilities for animal care and science.

The science and research performed at this Center is state-of-the-art, but what also makes it unique are the educational opportunities. It was gratifying to see the visitors coming to learn more about marine mammals and to see the tireless work of the volunteers to nurse the seals back to life in the sea. The Marin Mammal Center is not a zoo (thankfully). As a visitor you get a glimpse into a leading marine mammal hospital. The viewing stations are set back and there are signs to encourage everyone to be quiet. The goal is to release healthy seals back into the ocean and to not let them grow accustomed to human contact so they can survive in the wild.

Here is Miss L at the entrance next to a sea lion pup statue. She is very good at imitating the calls of a sea lion. I couldn't resist buying her a life-size harbor seal pup stuffed animal at the gift shop. Mister T was not as excited as Miss L and I were by the purchase!





The Marine Mammal Center offers an Adopt-a-Seal program that makes a wonderful gift for little ones. The gift includes a photo of an actual seal patient and a biography of the animal. The proceeds help provide food and medical care as well as support research efforts and educational programs.

As we left the Center I noticed a hallway of past patients. I recognized one from my time volunteering, Artemis, a stellar sea lion. She was actually tracked a year following release and was found with her own pup enjoying the Pacific Ocean!

Summer risotto

Source: http://www.finecooking.com/

In my latest addition of Fine Cooking I found a wonderful summer risotto recipe that features seasonal ingredients that all of us mamas can find at our local greenmarkets. Mister T thought it was the best dish I've made in a long time (was that a compliment? what about all those other meals?!) and Miss L devoured it while bouncing and clapping in her Tripp Trapp chair (that is the best compliment to the cook).

I love this recipe because it highlights sweet summer corn and reminds me of the amazing farmstands in Sagaponack. I was able to find the sausage and arugula at the farmers market at the Ferry Building so the flavors were clean and fresh.

Risotto is very easy to make and can easily be served as a main course (especially if it includes meat to meet the dietary needs of our husbands). The key is not to stir too often, just when you add the broth and when you want to check to see if the broth has been absorbed and you need to add another ladle.

I know some of the mamas are vegetarian. I'm not sure how it would taste without the sausage. I definitely thought that each bite was perfect if all three ingredients were tasted together. I really like incorporating the corn early in the recipe by grating some of the kernels and adding them when you add the risotto.

6 cups lower-salt chicken broth; more as needed

3 medium ears fresh corn, shucked and halved crosswise

2 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil

2 medium cloves garlic, minced

3 packed cups trimmed arugula

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper

3 Tbs. unsalted butter

1 medium leek (white and light-green parts only), finely diced (about 3/4 cup)

1/4 lb. hot Italian pork sausage, casings removed and broken into chunks

2 cups arborio rice

1/2 cup dry white wine (like Pinot Grigio)

1/2 cup freshly grated Pecorino Romano; more for serving

Heat the chicken broth in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat until very hot. Add the corn and cook until the kernels are just tender, 3 to 4 minutes. Transfer the corn to a cutting board and reduce the heat to keep the broth hot but not simmering.

Once the corn is cool enough to handle, slice the kernels off four of the pieces. Grate the kernels from the remaining two pieces using the large holes of a box grater. Discard the cobs.

Heat the olive oil and garlic in a large, heavy saucepan or medium Dutch oven over medium-high heat until the garlic is fragrant, about 2 minutes. Add the arugula and toss with tongs until wilted, about 1 minute. Season with a generous pinch of salt and pepper. Transfer the arugula to a cutting board, let it cool slightly, and then coarsely chop it. Wipe the pan clean.

Melt the butter in the cleaned pan over medium heat. Add the leek and a generous pinch of salt and cook, stirring occasionally, until softened, about 2 minutes. Add the sausage, breaking it apart with a fork or spoon into crumbles, and cook until no longer pink, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the rice and stir until the grains are well coated with fat and the edges become translucent, 1 to 2 minutes. Pour in the wine and stir until it’s absorbed, about 30 seconds. Stir in the grated corn.

Ladle enough of the hot broth into the pan to barely cover the rice, about 1-1/2 cups. Bring to a boil and then adjust the heat to maintain a lively simmer. Cook, stirring frequently, until the broth is mostly absorbed, 2 to 3 minutes. Continue adding broth in 1/2-cup increments, stirring occasionally and letting each addition be absorbed before adding the next.

After about 20 minutes, the rice should be just cooked but still fairly firm. At this point, add the whole corn kernels, chopped arugula, and another 1/2 cup broth. Continue to simmer and stir until the corn is warmed through and the rice is just tender to the tooth, an additional 1 to 3 minutes. Stir in another splash of broth if the risotto seems too thick. Remove the pot from the heat and stir in the cheese. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve the risotto immediately with a sprinkling of cheese.

Parenting two, my own little DIY

Hello Mamas. I have been enjoying reading all of your posts and have been meaning to post sooner but honestly, I have never been more exhausted and overwhelmed with LIFE in general. I am also not that cyber savvy. Tonight Mister TS and I are relaxing sans TV while Masters D and G rest soundly (my biggest accomplishment of late but more on that later.) Because of a late lunch out I didn't have to cook or clean so I am finding myself with the time and just enough energy to reach out to my fellow Mama friends.
It seems like a good time. Summer is the time when everyone is coming and going, vacationing here and there and getting out of NYC and out of touch. There are also many Mamas about to join the club of Mamas of 2, and of 3 (!) and those deciding if/when its right for them. I have only knit scarves and have difficulty finishing most projects but I may have something to contribute in the department of parenting. For me Master D was all I ever needed. Even throughout those crazy stages of out of control jet black hair, skinny legs and pale skin I believed there was no other child that was more beautiful. But we wanted him to have a sibling. As I was pregnant with Master G my 2 biggest fears were: will I fall for him as hard and will I lose my first love Master D? Having come 6 months through the other side I have decided to make a list of things I have learned and experienced for you to enjoy, learn, ignore whatever...
1. Labor the second time around was easier. Good news: the cervix remembers Bad news: everything is looser (great)
2. The highs and lows of breast feeding remain. Good news: the constant fear of whether he/she is getting enough is second string to the fear of is my oldest going to smother the baby as he/she climbs ON TOP of me while I am breast feeding. (I wish I had a photograph of the time Master D stood on top of the nursing pillow, his feet next to Master G's body while he lay there and nurse with me sitting in the glider attempting to balance it all.) Bad news: nipples do not remember, they are just as tender and apt to crack and bleed as they were the first time (WTF?!)
3. Babies DO sleep alot! Wow what were we complaining about the first time?
4. Babies DONT sleep through the night, ah that's why we were complaining.
5. Getting both to sleep through the night (my definition of sleep through the night is 10-12 hours) and one coinciding nap was my JOB for the first few months. WILL it to happen. Envision what you want and make it happen. If they dont sleep you wont and you will need every last drop of energy for a baby and crazy toddler. Get them in the same room asap. The younger they are the more flexible. Do not worry about one waking up the other, they get used to each other very quickly. It is MOST IMPORTANT that the baby learn to fall asleep on his/her own. You will not have the time/energy or patience to rock, bounce or shush the baby while the toddler plays with the loudest toy in the room with you are trying to put the baby down for a nap. Leave the snuggling, rocking etc for times when family are around to help with the toddler.
6. With every month the juggling act gets easier. However Master D's coping seems to change as much as the emotions of a crazy 2 year old.
7. It seems to help to have them do as much together as possible (feeding, dressing, changing, bathing.) The more independent the older one is the better so that your hands are free.
8. Give the older one some control because life for them will seem out of control for a while. Do you want this cup or that one? Toast or waffles? etc
9. Accept help from anyone that offers (unless they are toxic to you.)
10. You will fall head over heels for your future kids just as you did for the first. It is amazing how the heart grows for the newest family member.

My wonderful MIL

Oh yes you read the title correctly. My mother in law really is wonderful, and the FIL too. If I say anything bad about them again please cyber slap me!

We made a last minute decision to actually take a holiday and fly, yes fly at 32 weeks pregnant (!!?!!), to Munich and then drive the 130kms to our apartment in Austria. I was really apprehensive about the whole thing but the doctor signed off on it and the airline allows you to fly up to 36 weeks with a doctor's letter. So off we went. It's only a 1.5hr flight and Master R had his own seat on the plane and was really good the whole way. Same for the car drive into Munich to see Oma and Opa.

After spoiling Master R with lovely presents, Oma and Opa took us to a biergarten for lunch. I stupidly ordered fish and then had to reorder when it arrived and I discovered it was raw fish. My German doesn't extend that far and no one thought there was anything wrong with a pregnant woman eating raw fish! But I reordered and tried not to make a fuss.

There was a summer fair in the park and the grandparents took Master R on his first merry-go-round ride. I thought he'd be scared because it was really fast but he loved it and kept begging for more. Being grandparents they kept giving in and I think he went on it 7 times in total and cried when we had to leave.

The real suprise was when we arrived at our apartment just 130kms away. Knowing that I have OCD when it comes to being clean and tidy Oma had completely cleaned the apartment. I mean completely. There was not a single speck of dust anywhere and no item of furniture or trinket (and there are lots of them) was out of place. The best thing is that they had moved anything that Master R could get at and stored it in their room. It was truly amazing.

It's more amazing given the fact that Opa is currently recovering from surgery for advanced cancer. It's been a tough couple of months and we didn't know how much longer we'd have him with us. It turns out that he's responded really well to treatment and is likely to have more healthy years with us. It touches me that despite the pain he's going through they both made such an effort to have the apartment perfect for us. So much so that they made our bed, bought new artwork to replace the items we didn't like, shopped and filled the fridge so we wouldn't have to worry about food the first few days, bought toys for Master R, filled the terraces with beautiful plants and flowers (as you can see in the picture above), insisted that they wouldn't stay with us even though they'd love to spend all day with Master R, the list goes on.

I am eternally greatful and appreciate having a MIL who is as OCD as me about things being just so. As a result I will not complain when they drink too much, try to take over the parenting, paint our walls canary yellow, decorate the whole apartment to their cluttered taste, put numerous holes in the walls to hang their gaudy artwork, wash my clothes and sheets in so much fabric softener that it gives me rashes in "sensitive" places, dictate when, where and how things will happen, constantly point out any changes in my weight or the regrowth of my hair, order so many knitted items that I'd have to knit for a year to complete them, hmmm really my list is insignificant compared to the beautiful things they have done for us. I wish I had the level of German possible to tell them I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. Right now though they have to be satisfied with vielen dank, alles is perfeckt!

New York delivery in San Francisco!

Source: www.hhbagels.net

This morning the doorbell rang and I wasn't expecting any visitors so I was quite curious as to who it could be. Maybe someone was lost and rang the wrong house. Mister T answered the door and I could hear him telling Miss L, "Mommy is really going to like this." Then suddenly the absolutely best smell you can imagine wafted down the hall - everything bagels from H&H!

Mister T, Miss L and I all stood around the box. Fresh bagels right at our fingertips. We were giddy and jumping up and down with joy. We couldn't believe we had real New York bagels delivered to our door in San Francisco. I should also mention that this was the first food we've had delivered to our door since we arrived. I ripped open the box. Miss L made the first grab for a cinnamon raisin bagel. I had enough restraint to read the card first.

Mama A and Master X are so thoughtful to send us one of our favorite New York foods that we have missed the most! I have been craving a New York bagel from the moment we landed at SFO.

I was running late for a doctor's appointment so I had to wait to have my everything bagel. It was pure torture. My lovely new doctor asked me how I was feeling. My answer was a quick, "fine." She asked if I had any questions. My answer was a quick, "no." All I could think about was eating an everything bagel as soon as I got home. It was the fastest doctor's appointment I have ever had. I walked home as quickly as possible. I must have looked like one of those power walkers awkwardly strutting down the street. When I finally made it home I ran through the door, barely mumbled a hello to Mister T and made a fast break for the kitchen.

It was everything I remembered and had hoped for. I enjoyed every morsel of that bagel. I think I could have eaten two of them, but I thought I would stretch out the enjoyment so I can look forward to my next bagel tomorrow morning. Mister T told me we could not have bagels for dinner tonight, even though I thought it was a fantastic idea.

Mama A, you are the best!! We are so touched by your kindness.

Double the fun!

Source: www.beginnerbaby.com

Mama N was the first to guess correctly that I'm expecting, but Mama A guessed "the twist" correctly. No, it's not Michael Jackson's baby. I'm expecting twins!

I am due in early January but will likely deliver in December. In a few weeks Mister T and I will find out if we are having girls or boys. The twins are fraternal so it could be any combination, a girl and a boy, two girls or two boys.

Finished Knitting Projects

Well- I'm finally posting some of my knitting projects. As most of you know- I had this great idea that with my newfound love for knitting- I thought it would be fun to do a few things for my nieces and a friend's son's first birthday. Then, I realized that if you knit for one friend, you have to knit for the whole group of friends and their kids no matter how old. So- one or two projects turned into SEVEN projects.

To start with, I began with little leg warmers for my nieces- turning 1 and 3. The first one came out gigantic and I had to rip that out for the three year old- and I still think the striped ones will be too big- but I had enough. The second two came along much more quickly.

I was much too ambitious in the beginning. As you may have seen the posts about vests from Mama H and Mama N, I planned on doing the lovely vest Master K's grandmother made him for two boys. After several weeks of ripping it out over and over again- I gave up. I have learned from Mama N that knitting is very mathematical and I am not a mathematical person! I learned I cannot figure out how to continue a pattern without explicit instructions or frantic emails to Mama N. After complete frustration, I have decided a vest is too much work for me for a gift and maybe will attempt to finish one day for Aidan.

Then, I moved onto these simple helmet hats. I thought they were funny & cute and found they could be knit in a night or two (after knitting a completely miniature hat that wouldn't have fit a doll).

Next, was onto these adorable cupcake purses that Mama N found for me. I had thought about doing shrugs for the little girls who are 4 & 5- but having small bouts of concentration w/this pregnancy- these were a fun cute knit.

Now, I'm making a kimono for BabyOD#2. Happy to be off of these projects- I needed them done early so I wouldn't have to think about them this fall. I'll never do this again!!! Mama N is encouraging me to start crocheting as well. Reading a book to learn will be nothing like sitting in her apartment, chatting and learning to knit :)

Perfect Toddler Boy Sandals

Photo: www.seekairun.com

Master D spends a lot of time running around outside, so when it came time to buy his summer shoes I knew they needed to be sandals that would stand up to the playground. Most sandals for boys were either overly-utilitarian-looking or had a very hard sole. I wanted Master D’s shoes to go with button downs as well as sun-suits, so we searched until we found the perfect pair for his baby style.

The Grayson sandal by See Kai Run looks less sporty than most boy sandals and has the wonderful, flexible bottom that makes See Kai Run shoes special. Master D has already loved one pair into the ground, but he’s had them since April and keeps getting them wet with hose water at my green-thumbed mother’s house. Without even shopping around I went straight to Nordstrom’s and got him the next size up in these wonderful sandals. I rarely pass up an excuse to shop around, so my loyalty to these shoes says a lot!

I'm coming out of the closet

www.californiaclosets.com

I've been wanting to share some news with all of you mamas. It turns out it is really difficult to reach everyone by phone with the time change. Why can't California get with it and move to Eastern Time? Then I could call everyone at 8:00 after our little ones are asleep for the night. It also turns out that many mamas are out at the beach. So I had an idea that I could post some clues and see who guesses the news first!

Before I get to the clues, let me add that there is a twist so a mama will only be given full credit if she guesses the twist correctly.

Clue #1: I can't seem to remember what I need to add to my to-do list.

Clue #2: I just want to eat croissants, pancakes and muffins.

Clue #3: I don't want to eat hummus or talk about eating hummus.

Clue #4: I would like to take a nap at 10, 2 and 5 every day.

Clue #5: Mama N's lovely brown raincoat does not fit me.

More details will be provided once there is a correct guess...

Do you tweet?

Hi Mamas

We're now on Twitter as @TightKnitMamas. The new box on the side of this blog feeds in our latest postings on Twitter. Not sure what Twitter is? Read all about it here and I can give you login details when you're ready to share your twits with your tweets.

Mama N xx

Beaten by a pip - here's my finished vest too

I feel a little sheepish posting this after Mama H! She just beat me to it though. I finished this last night and was going to post before going to bed but then cast on another project instead.

As Mama H said, the inspiration for this vest all started with Mama V's mother in law knitting one for the incredibly sweet Master K. Mama J then requested the pattern and started knitting it. She would have been the first finished but, despite much coaching from across the ocean, had some difficulty on the neck. I believe hers isn't quite there yet. Keep going though! You'll finish it.

As I say on my Ravelry page, this is terribly cheap but soft acrylic. The total cost of this vest was actually £1.25. But I wanted something that I could just throw on Master R when it was a touch chilly - which is often the case during a British summer - and not worry about curry stains. It also does very well in the washing machine, something I would NEVER do with wool - not even the machine washable stuff.

I'm quite pleased with mine. It's a touch big for Master R as you can see, and I accidentally over blocked it and it's a bit flat looking at the bottom. But one wash and it will be back to normal.

Please excuse the picture of my cheeky monkey who is still in his pjs and has breakfast all around his mouth!

Finished object: a little boy's blue vest

There has been quite a bit of talk in our knitting circle about little boys' vests lately. It all started with the darling vests that Mama V's mother-in-law knit for Master K. I was a little intimidated by the pattern that Mama V's mother-in-law passed along, so I went down to my local yarn shop Atelier and found a lovely pattern book. It called "little sweet peas" by Sirdar and contains 22 designs for babies, girls and boys from birth to 7 years.

I knit this vest for my cousin who just turned one. My cousin A had a baby, so I guess that does make him my cousin too, right? It just seems strange to refer to a one-year old as my cousin.

Everything was knitting beautifully. I knit both the front and back and shaped the neck, arms and shoulders. Then I ran into a terrible time with knitting the neck border. If you look close enough you will notice that the ribbing is correct on the left side but not correct on the right side! I was so disappointed, but I was running out of time. Late one night I got very upset that Mama N and Mama J did not live upstairs or across the street. But then I remember that Mama N told me that no project will be perfect (although I do think she would have made me rip the neck border out!).

I ended up finishing and blocking the vest at midnight on the day of the birthday party. Even with my glaring mistake, I was still happy with it and my cousin and my aunt were really pleased with it. I don't think they took a good enough look at it amidst all of the birthday gifts. I just keep telling myself it's the thought that counts. And it felt great to knit my first project since moving. I'm on to a couple of men's hats next for gifts, then a yellow sweater for Miss L.

Flying chard, dethroned beauty queens and hula dancers

Miss L waiting to go to the Bolinas 4th of July parade

Yes, there were flying chard, dethroned beauty queens for marriage equality and hula dancers at the Bolinas 4th of July parade. As most of you mamas know, my parents live in the very unique, nature-loving town of Bolinas. The 4th of July is the biggest holiday celebration of the year.

The festivities begin with a tug-of-war between the towns of Bolinas (hippies, artists and free spirits) and Stinson (out-of-town affluent weekenders including Senator Dianne Feinstein). As you may guess, Bolinas usually wins, which was the case again this year.

After the tug-of-war the parade kicks off with Bolinas local Annie singing the national anthem from the balcony of Smiley's, the local watering hole. This was Annie's 59th year in a row singing it.

My favorite parts of the parade were the signs for the Bolinas Museum (with a shout-out to London and New York), marriage equality supporters and the mobile kitchen school throwing chard and dill to the crowd (who needs candy and beads when you can saute chard and season with dill?).

Miss L was very tuckered out by the end of the parade, especially after the hula dancers.

I hope everyone enjoyed their July 4th and that Mama N snuck in some red, white and blue into her wardrobe over the weekend.

Masquerade evening of glamour

No knitting this weekend but there was some sewing. Saturday morning I delegated childcare responsibilities to Mr M and locked myself in my sewing/guest room to finish this ball gown in time for the party on Saturday night. Thankfully I did manage to get it completely finished and pressed with a couple of hours to spare. It was actually a very simple bump friendly and colourful dress just as I'd envisaged.

The event was a 40th birthday party for the wife of an ex-colleague of Mr M. I'd met him a couple of times but never his wife. It's very odd going to a party not knowing the birthday girl. And I didn't even meet her on the night.

What a party! Most weddings are not this extravagant. Held at the V&A Museum the surroundings were just beautiful. It had a Venetian theme, hence the masks. I'd bought ours online and hoped that it matched my dress - luckily it did perfectly.

Back to the party. There was a string quartet on gondola in the middle of the lake in the garden. After we moved inside past the sculpture gallery there was a live band. The daughters aged 13 and 10 sang a beautiful song from Hairspray where they had adapted the words for their mother. They were incredible! Such confidence. I had tears in my eyes. Following the band were opera singers. Other entertainment included massages, makeup sessions, an ice cream stand (see picture above!) and a photo booth.

I'd actually managed to slip my feet into some 4 inch heels for the occasion. My legs held up quite well until about 11pm. By then I was ready to limp to the car and go home to my lovely soft bed. Y can imagine the relief when I took off my shoes and walked on flat ground. Bliss! But beauty means suffering, even when pregnant!

A house isn't a home until you've baked cookies

I was very excited to bake my first batch of cookies in my new kitchen and to have the house smell like chocolate chip cookies. I also wanted to bring something delicious over to our neighbors to introduce ourselves. Mama N inspired me to bake after hearing about her carrot cake on FB.

I must also confess that I am a huge fan of Gwyneth Paltrow's website (and also of Gwyneth herself, evidenced by my walking into a hair salon last week and asking for the "Gwyneth cut"). On GOOP Gwyneth recently wrote about her favorite cookie recipes. I decided to try the dark chocolate and cherry cookies that Katie Lee, soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Joel, made for her. The key to these cookies is to find the best artisanal dark chocolate. I really like Scharffen Berger chocolate, so I used a bar of 70% cocoa that I found at WF. You also want to use tart cherries, rather than sweet, which is a nice complement to the dark chocolate. Here is the yummy recipe (I decided not to include the pecans):

YIELDS: About 4 dozen cookies

2 1/4 cups unbleached, all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2/3 cup dark brown sugar, firmly packed
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
8 ounces dark chocolate, coarsely chopped (be sure to use a high-quality chocolate with more than 60% cacao)
1 cup dried cherries (about 6 ounces), coarsely chopped
1 cup pecans, coarsely chopped (optional)

Preheat the oven to 375º F.

Sift the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt together into a bowl.

In the bowl of an electric mixer (or in a bowl using a handmixer), beat the butter with the sugars until light and fluffy, about three minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating until incorporated. Beat in the vanilla. On low speed, add the flour mixture. With a wooden spoon, fold in the chocolate, cherries and pecans (if you’re using them).

Scoop by heaping tablespoonful onto two nonstick or greased cookie sheets. Bake until golden and chewy, about 12 minutes, rotating the sheets after six minutes. Transfer the cookies to a rack to cool and repeat the process with the remaining dough.

Sunbonnet Sue

When we arrived in San Francisco, my mother had a package for me. My aunt had made something for Miss L. I had no idea she was working on a project for Miss L. I also had no idea what it could be.

We unwrapped the package to find this Sunbonnet Sue quilt for Miss L's new room. It turns out that my great-grandmother had started sewing the Sunbonnet Sues decades ago and never finished the quilt. My mother remembers my grandmother having the pieces. Eventually the pieces made it to my aunt who kept them well-stored for years. She finished this beautiful quilt last month and sent it to us!

The fabric is in amazing condition and my aunt sewed a label on the back with her name and birth date and Miss L's great-great-grandmother's name and years living. Mister T hung it in Miss L's room so that it is the first thing you are drawn to when you walk in the door.





I can only hope that one day I can make such a treasure to pass along in the family. I did just learn that my neighbor has a sewing machine (and she quilts) and she offered to loan me the sewing machine if I ever want to learn to sew. But first things first, I must learn to crochet to follow in Mama N's footsteps.