A tough decision...

As some of you mamas know, we've been trying to establish a peaceable kingdom between our dog Kishi, a ten year-old Shiba Inu, and Master X for some time now.  As a breed, shibas are prone to dominance, anxiety, jealousy and a general dislike for other animals and in our case, small children.  They do best with one or two owners, which was what Mister B and his former spouse were when they bought her.  Shibas are not known to be great family pets, although I am sure in some situations, they are.  Unfortunately, this is not the case for us.

When I was pregnant with Master X, I grew increasingly anxious about how the dog would react to the baby in the house.  She had displayed some aggressive behavior in the lobby of our building towards toddlers... barking at them as we approached.  Needless to say, I held her leash tightly in place and moved her out of view until the child and his nanny made it into the elevator.  She behaved similarly towards my friend's then seven year-old daughter, although it was likely that she was simply scared by the kid screeching her name and attempting to chase her around our apartment.  

Still, given the fact I knew she was prone to such behavior, I felt it necessary to seek professional help before our bundle arrived.  Our dog trainer was great, at the 'bargain' price of $125 an hour.  I worked with her for five sessions in the afternoon, since it was too much for Mister B to deal with after working a full day.  After a while, we just stopped.  Our dog walkers were not reinforcing the behavior and Kishi was resistant to change, often refusing to walk on the special harness we were using to train her.  I bought a "baby sounds" CD and prayed for the best.  She seemed totally unfazed by the sounds of gurgling, cooing and wailing babies that emanated from our CD player.

Surprisingly, nothing much happened after Master X was born.  I sent a baby blanket home from the hospital for the dog to smell, and she was totally disinterested.  We made it a point to allow her in the baby's room, so she wouldn't feel left out or jealous.  We let her sniff his head and smell his toys.  For the most part, aside from wanting a little bit of extra attention, Kishi could have cared less about Master X, and Master X was oblivious to her.  I apologized to Mister B for panicking and telling everyone who asked how worried I was to have the dog in the house with the baby.  Just to be safe, I never left them alone together.

Things changed a bit when Mister X became mobile and started to understand what Kishi was.  He delighted in seeing her run around and chase her tail, often laughing when she did something silly.  He also began to follow her and look for her when she was absent from the room.  We knew that he knew who she was last summer because whenever he saw her, he would growl, just as Kishi did.  Some of those growls were directed at him, but most of them were the noises she made when we returned home after a day at the beach and she was excited to see us.  Aside from the few and far between aforementioned growls, she still kept a distance, preferring Mister B or me to Master X, with the exception of his toys, which bore a striking resemblance to the furry things and balls she had in her toy bin.

When Master X learned to talk, he called her "shi-shi" and took great pleasure in seeing her every morning and after her walks.  He tried to throw her toys to her so she would chase them and frequently offered her cookies, which would then prompt me to yell "No!" and grab his hand away from her mouth.  Mister B started telling everyone that Kishi was getting used to Master X and that we hoped they could peacefully coexist.

Things began to change a few months ago.  Master X grew increasingly more interested in her, wanting to hold her leash when we went on walks, which was so cute to see, and trying to pet her much the way we adults did.  He tried to get her to dance with him once, reaching for her paws as his father and I sprang into action, knowing that her paws were off limits to everyone.  He reached for her tail when she walked by and loved plopping down on her bed.  Master X seemed perfectly happy with his puppy.  The trouble was that his puppy wasn't entirely pleased with the living situation.  She growled at him more frequently, often baring her teeth at him if he got too close.  Luckily, Mister B, our nanny and I have been extremely diligent about close supervision.  It's one of the primary reasons we still have a 'baby jail' in our apartment.

Over the course of the past month while we've been at the beach, the situation has begun to deteriorate.  Kishi is even less tolerant of Master X and his advances, and in the past two weeks has snapped at him a handful of times.  On one occasion, she seemed to try to bite him, but I was so close and pushed her away before it could actually get to that point.  On other occasions, I think she's just been warning him to stay away.  She snapped three separate times yesterday, sending Master X whimpering into my arms.  I know it's not entirely her fault, since Master X does most of the provoking.  On the other hand, our child's safety has to come first, regardless.  

All of this has prompted Mister B, as her primary owner, to make the difficult decision to arrange an alternate living arrangement for the dog he's loved for ten years.  We won't be sending Kishi to a shelter or to live with a complete stranger.  She will reside with her 'other mother,' a woman she lived with until she was two and with whom she has spent many weekends.  She will have the same dog walkers and Mister B will visit her for walks, etc.

Of course, I know that visiting a dog for walks is hardly the same as having a dog in the house.  I'm terribly sad for Mister B, who nursed Kishi through hip dysplasia surgery when she was a puppy and has cared for her much like a child.  In fact, I knew he would be a good father when I saw the way he gingerly extracted a piece of salt from her paw after a snowy winter's walk.  We had only been dating a few months.  I lost my own family dog a few years back and remember the grief I felt over not having her around.  I suspect that giving a dog away is much the same, even though visiting is still a possibility.  I will certainly miss Kishi, although she has been quite the headache these past few months.  In eight years, I've grown to love her, too, though not the way Mister B loves her.

In addition, I'm sad for Master X.  I don't know how I'll look in his sweet brown eyes and tell him that Kishi is gone for good.  Even though she doesn't like him much, he has no clue of that, and he loves her anyway.  What kind of confusion will he feel when he no longer sees her bed in its familiar place or her toys littered throughout the hallway.  Just today, he woke up from his nap and craned his neck to see her sleeping in the hallway outside the bedroom doors.  "Kishi, come here!" he said.

I wish there was another solution, one where we could keep our dog and trust that she won't hurt our child, or the one on the way.  Unfortunately, we can't.