Master L is a colicky baby. There, I've said it.
I don't know why "colic" feels like a bad word to me, that to admit it and say it out loud, seems like some kind of failure, like there's something I could be doing to prevent it, if only I was a better mom or had more patience. Mister R has been saying it for weeks as he carries around inconsolable Master L for hours on end. I've been saying that he's just a baby and babies cry, that Master A was like this, but it's much worse. Most babies don't stay up for 6-9 hours at a time and require that they be held the whole time and still scream.
Of course some of you mamas have thought he seems so good- at playgroup if I wear him- he's usually passed out- but that's only because I'm wearing him. Part of the reason I haven't been in a rush for a double stroller is that I know he'll never sleep in it for more than a minute.
So why have I argued with Mister R about this- when he called him colicky? Calling him a terrorist was fine by me but "colicky" was unacceptable. Today, when I got home from work and my parents watched the boys for a few hours, my mom said he cried for three hours. She compared him to my nephew who had horrible colic and it finally hit me that Master L really is colicky.
I think I just don't want my precious baby to be labeled as a bad baby- like saying it now will make it stick with him always. I know that part of the reason I haven't been in a rush to get some help is that I'm afraid someone else won't be able to handle him. I love him to pieces and it's hard for me to keep the patience to deal with his crying jags. My parents love him and found it very tough. I feel like to deal with him- I could only have someone there who loves him or I may come home to no baby!
Master L is 9 1/2 weeks now- why has it taken me so long to admit it- it really is quite ridiculous? Why do I feel like it's an admission of defeat?
Mama J, I completely understand how you are feeling. I don't know why colic is so hard to accept. We had a really hard two to three weeks with Miss L when she was around six weeks old. My mother was quick to tell me she was colicky and I refused to believe it or admit it.
ReplyDeleteI hope Master L will get through it soon. I don't think it's any indication of a child's future temperament. I was a really colicky baby, but I no longer scream for hours on end.
I imagine it must be hard to say HOWEVER it may not be true by definition. I remember my baby nurse explaining that it is an over used term and that there is a strict inclusion criteria. I don't know if you have done any research on it specifically or talked to your Pediatrician but perhaps it is reflux? an allergy? is he over tired?
ReplyDeleteI remember feeling hopeless after some rough nights with both babies (remember my doula post??!!) and always wanting to FIX the problem. The good news is that every stage is just a that a stage and as Heather mentioned no indicator of future temperament. I was an "easy baby" but am a real pain in the ass now and cry all the time.
I know not everyone- including my doctor - doesn't believe in colic but Master L has made me a believer. In following the usual criteria of inconsolable crying for three hours, three days a week for three weeks- he's absolutely there. Being that he was three weeks early- he hit a high point two weeks ago and I'm hoping it will slowly become less. I guess it's just the inconsolable part of it that makes me a believer. Nothing will calm him down or make him happy.
ReplyDeleteMama H- if you are a former colicky baby then I know Master L will be fine. You have the most easy going temperment and it gives me hope.
Thanks Mamas A & G for your food advice. I don't eat a whole lot of any of the potential culprits (tomatoes, garlic, broccoli, dairy, chocolate) - except maybe chocolate :) but I'm going to try eliminating them one by one and seeing if I see any change.
It's funny - as I started typing this comment- Master L threw up all over the place. I do think he is having some digestive issues (another sign) but it's not every day. My nephew had GER but I haven't rushed him into the MD b/c it's really only maybe 2 or 3 times a week that he vomits. Anyone have experience w/GER- is it a constant issue or could it be just sporadic?
Whether colic exists or not- I know there's an end in sight- sort of- because then comes teething. Always something!