Welcome, Master Q and Miss V!

I see we have all been busy in this notoriously hectic season, and our little blog lies neglected... but we would be remiss not to give a big TKM shout-out to our newest subjects of blogging delight, Mama H's twins Master Q and Miss V.... WELCOME TO THE WORLD!!

We can't wait to see what new posts you cause your brave Mama-of-three to put together. For now, I think she's happy just to be walking around again. We'll take it from there.

Big hugs from your Auntie V across the country.

The octomom

The documentary has just aired on UK TV tonight. Its like watching a horrific car accident. I just can't bring myself to turn it off and yet I'm cringing and feeling so angry at her.

Initially I thought I'd watch it with an open mind. I would not prejudge her and give her the benefit of being a loving woman who took motherhood into her own hands and on her own terms. But after seeing those poor children I just feel ill.

The programme starts with feeding time for the 9mth old octuplets. They are all just screaming and kicking fighting for food and spitting it out at the same time. Nayda and her two helpers just can't give the love and attention that these poor babies need.

What was even more sickening is the poor older children. The oldest girl is old beyond her years. When Nadya pokes the camera into her face and asks her Do you enjoy all the babies? The poor girl responds that she wishes she was an only child. So often she is shown caring for the babies. Sure I did that too as the oldest of 4 and resented the care I had to give but was also proud at the same time. But to have to help care for 13 siblings when is is still a young girl herself?

The autistic boy is given a shower of kisses and then pushed off to a minder while Nadya turns her back on him and attends to the other children.

Then the stupid woman shoved the camera in the face of a boy of about 6-7 years. He screams to get the camera out of his face. Nadya laughs and says he hates being on camera and she respects that. But she continues to hound the boy until he completely breaks down screaming at her and calling her an arsehole. Lovely. Its no wonder the boy cracks and throws a screwdriver at his mother cutting her nose. He screams out "F*%K You!" then tells her he doesn't like her talking about him. This is a cry for help, surely? These are healthy and well adjusted children.

The only saving grace is that the courts have been given some power to protect the children. I hope they step in soon and realise that this constant publicity is so destroying for these poor children.

Come on, ride the train!

Man, Master D is crazy about trains. He has never actually been on one, unless subways count, but he cannot get enough of locomotives.

Master D turned 2 in September and became the proud owner of a train table. He has his own room here, but it suffered from lack of use because it harbors his own bed ["No!"], books ["In Mommy's bed!"], and his clothes and diapers ["Bad!"]. About a week before his birthday, I finally hit the Craigslist jackpot that rewarded me for months of pushing the refresh button on the baby + kids For Sale page. A Thomas train table, in a neighboring town, for $100. I was prepared to pay at least twice that for a nice set, but this one had it all - even the battery-operated engines that drag the trains around the tracks all by themselves. It has tons of track, so we could make a bunch of different designs, but it takes so long to build one that actually stands up to a toddler that the tracks might as well be permanent. It came with 20 trains, and a really cute table that looks great in Master D's room.

The good news is that it keeps Master D busy for a long time - sometimes long enough for me to get dressed in peace, and his poor bedroom is less lonely. The bad news is that it has not diminished his enthusiasm for other train tables, which means we still can't get in and out of Barnes and Noble in less than an hour.

Happy Halloween!

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As Halloween approaches I can't help but reminisce about the wonderful Halloween party we had last year. It was a time when all of us mamas were together. I remember bumping into Mama N on the way to the party and strolling Master R and Miss L in their puppy and cow costumes to the Thursday playgroup festivities. We have that great group photo with all of our little ones in their first Halloween costumes. It was one of those moments that caused me to pause and appreciate all of the amazing friendships we had formed over the year. I think I will always remember that day together quite vividly as Halloween approaches every year.

This year we decided that Miss L would be a bumblebee since she loves to see the bees buzzing around the flowering rosemary bush in the front of our house. As you can see by the photo above, Miss L could not wait to wear her bee costume.

Today we had a neighborhood Halloween party just a few blocks away at our local park. I was so happy that I could go with Mister T and Miss L. We brought a blanket so I could lay down and adhere to my bed rest regimen. It was so nice to see Miss L enjoying the festivities and for me to get some fresh air. Miss L enjoyed decorating pumpkins with felt stickers and watching a puppet show. There was a deejay on hand to play festive tunes, such as Thriller, Ghostbusters and the Addams Family theme song. There were bouncy houses, bubbles and balloons. My favorite party treat was the canvas bag that everyone took home to use for trick or treating. They are meant to be colored with pens so Miss L and I will have an extra craft to work on this week.

I can't wait to hear from the mamas about all their masters' Halloween costumes and the Thursday playgroup festivities. I wish we could be there with you!

Why does colic feel like an admission of defeat?

Master L is a colicky baby. There, I've said it.

I don't know why "colic" feels like a bad word to me, that to admit it and say it out loud, seems like some kind of failure, like there's something I could be doing to prevent it, if only I was a better mom or had more patience. Mister R has been saying it for weeks as he carries around inconsolable Master L for hours on end. I've been saying that he's just a baby and babies cry, that Master A was like this, but it's much worse. Most babies don't stay up for 6-9 hours at a time and require that they be held the whole time and still scream.

Of course some of you mamas have thought he seems so good- at playgroup if I wear him- he's usually passed out- but that's only because I'm wearing him. Part of the reason I haven't been in a rush for a double stroller is that I know he'll never sleep in it for more than a minute.

So why have I argued with Mister R about this- when he called him colicky? Calling him a terrorist was fine by me but "colicky" was unacceptable. Today, when I got home from work and my parents watched the boys for a few hours, my mom said he cried for three hours. She compared him to my nephew who had horrible colic and it finally hit me that Master L really is colicky.

I think I just don't want my precious baby to be labeled as a bad baby- like saying it now will make it stick with him always. I know that part of the reason I haven't been in a rush to get some help is that I'm afraid someone else won't be able to handle him. I love him to pieces and it's hard for me to keep the patience to deal with his crying jags. My parents love him and found it very tough. I feel like to deal with him- I could only have someone there who loves him or I may come home to no baby!

Master L is 9 1/2 weeks now- why has it taken me so long to admit it- it really is quite ridiculous? Why do I feel like it's an admission of defeat?

Powder in a can

Wee Go Baby Bottle, Source: www.babygreenguide.com

I have decided that I should have formula on hand just in case I need it for the twins to supplement breastfeeding. Deep down inside I don't want to use it, but I want to be prepared. I realize that I may need to supplement for the twins' weight gain or for my own sanity so someone else can give them a bottle while I try to get some sleep. Given my challenges with breastfeeding one child I want to be a little more flexible and prepared.

I have no idea how to start comparing different formula brands and ingredients. How do I know which one is safe and healthy? How can I get over looking at it as a processed food?

I am hoping the mamas can help me with some suggestions and advice!

The daily struggle

So- it's been eight weeks since Master L came into my life. I can't believe how much has changed- how little sleep I get, how it's more than double the work, but how much my heart has expanded.

First, I want to thank everyone for their support with breastfeeding. I'm proud to stay that I'm still going strong and intend to continue. It was very hard initially- for me it really took about five weeks before I realized that it wasn't killing me, that I wasn't cooling down my boob with gel pads, or using my prosthetic nipple (nipple shield). I know I whined a lot initially and asked lots of dumb questions (thanks especially Mama N), but I made it over the hurdle. Before, I couldn't imagine whipping out my boob in public- but now I don't even think about it. I hope to make it six months, but who knows, maybe I'll go further. Maybe I'll even be one of the moms we saw on Dateline nursing their seven year old :) Just stop me if you see me carrying around a re-born doll.

Having two has been a struggle, it's hard when you want to be not Supermom- but just a good mom- and you are pulled in all directions. Master L is a more difficult baby than Master A was, and chasing Master A around as well has been challenging. I still haven't gotten help and I'm trying to manage the boys and work. Simple things like preparing dinner become a battle (I must say my CSA forces me to cook and avoid take out for weeks I did initially with Master A) or picking up around the apartment. Some days I feel lucky to have just survived the day. There were a few weeks when I was so exhausted I wasn't making much sense in talking to the mamas, I'd forget things like strapping Master A into his stroller, or dropping my mail down the mail chute. I'm just thankful that there is no camera in my apartment as I sit on my computer working, making calls with Master L sucking on my boob. If I get a shower by 1 p.m., I consider it a success. I went a bit nuts planning Master L's baby naming, but now that it's done, I'm feeling some pressure gone. Luckily, work for me is pretty slow. I must say I do enjoy the one afternoon a week I get into the office. It's a bit of a break. This past week, Master A has starting acting up- reverting back to throwing food on the floor, more tantrums, whining for tons of milk and now stealing Master L's paci and popping it in his mouth (we bought completely different ones for Master L and initally he just handed them to me). It's been very frustrating and I know I just have to stay firm and wait it out. I hate spending half the day fighting with him and saying "No".

What I have learned over the past two months, which is very hard for me, is I may not be able to do it all with a newborn and toddler. The books for two book clubs may not be read, I may not knit as much and just stare at the boob tube at night and everything doesn't have to be done immediately. I worried initially that I wasn't spending enough time with Master A, now I worry that I don't do as much for Master L, that there aren't as many pictures, that his birth announcements didn't make it out fast enough. There have been days my hormones kick in and I am so upset that I'm not doing enough. I do think I have to remember that this is in my head and that they are boys and will not care about any of these things. Some days will be good, some will be hideous, but I'm sure it will be like that for the next 18 years ... or next 20 years if Mister R has his way and there's a third. I was watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 and Kate was talking about how sad it was that the little ones were all in school already. It does go by so fast. How is Master A already approaching two. So please, when I tell you that I'm taking on another outlandish project, remind me to slow down.

Right now I'm watching Master A walk around with my pants around his neck as a giant scarf, carrying a bag of yarn and dancing. I think I'm going to get off the computer and go dance. I may not have gone back and edited this- but I think you'll forgive me.

Hello navel! I've missed you

Six weeks post baby and half the weight gone. I've become reacquainted with my belly button and some of my regular clothes. However that was the easy weight and the next half isn't going to be quite so easy.

Having been given the all clear by my doctor last week we went for our first family run on the weekend. It was a moment I have been waiting for for 10.5 months. My double jogging stroller was my first purchase when I found out about pregnancy number 2. I'd enjoyed my morning runs with Master R along the Hudson River and couldn't wait to start again. My single jogger was left in the caring hands of Mama A (I hope you're using it!).

When we moved back to London the main criteria for a house was proximity to a large park so I could jog. We're right near Victoria Park, one of London's best kept secrets. At one stage deer roamed free but now it's just a huge park with great running paths and gardens.

Mr M and I were a little concerned about Master T's head wobbling around too much but we secured it with blankets and did a few test runs and he seemed very content nestled into the side of the seat.

The last time I went for a run was December '08 so I wasn't expecting much. However I surprised myself, and Mr M, by running the full planned distance of approximately 6kms/4 miles. I did feel it the next day though.

Both boys loved it. Master R loves looking at the ducks and "eich", abbreviated German for squirrels, which we have to acknowledge every time he sees one. Master T just slept. Let's hope it continues because I still have quite a few lbs to lose!

Great Greens!

It pains me to say that Master X is not a great eater. As a lover and skilled preparer of food, I had these delusions that he would become something of a gourmand. (You know the old saying about what happens when you assume something.) As a new eater, he was open to all sorts of concoctions... lentils, salmon, you name it. As a toddler, his sad repertoire consists of (organic, of course) baked chicken nuggets, grilled cheese, pizza, turkey meatballs, and sometimes, hot dogs. Veggie-wise, he'll eat peas, Dr. Praeger's spinach cakes, sweet potato and french fries. He won't touch spinach if it's not in a 'cake' or tomato if it's not 'sauce' or 'ketchup.' He won't even put a carrot in his mouth, despite the fact that orange is his favorite color.

I try new things continually, but they are often spit out (with an indignant gag, like I've fed him cat litter) or simply dismissed with a "No, Mommy!" He would eat his weight in fruit, if he could, and enjoys crackers, yogurt, and of course, any kind of dessert item, especially those with icing. When I expressed my concern, the pediatrician simply stated that he eats four more vegetables than some kids... if you count a fried potato as a veggie, which I sort of don't. Being a strict vegetarian for the past ten years, I'm a little perplexed. I'm not despairing though, because I'm hopeful he'll broaden his horizons as he gets older, but for the meantime, I'm just hoping he gets the right nutrients.

That's where this post comes in. I've made a surprising discovery.

When Mister B and I were dating, his mother, a well-meaning chiropractor, suggested that I try this powdered greens drink - Greens First - that she had begun to use. I agreed to try it out of respect, but really had very little interest. For one thing, I was a raw foods vegetarian (think fruit, raw veggies and nuts) at the time, and got plenty of green produce in my diet. Additionally, after trying everything on the market, I pretty much knew what we all know: greens drinks SUCK. They're gritty, taste like grass, and leave a terrible aftertaste. (Don't even get me started on wheatgrass.) So I drank it and was pleasantly surprised, shocked even. It was delicious. She left us a canister and returned to Seattle and I became a temporary devotee of the stuff, even convincing Mister B to drink it. (Like Master X, Mister B cannot be forced to do anything, nor does he have much patience for 'healthy' things I spring on him.) Every morning at six a.m., I made the drinks while he walked the dog... and then the canister ran out and I got out of the habit.

Fast forward to this summer. I'm exhausted from chasing Master X around the beach all day, and pretty aware that my pregnancy diet is heavy on the barbeque chips and light on energy enhancing 'superfoods.' So I called my MIL, confirmed that there were no pregnancy contraindications and asked her to ship me some greens. It arrived and I began a daily regimen of mixing it with water, shaking it up, and enjoying the benefits of the forty-nine superfoods and organic fruits and veggies it provides. Sometimes, I drink it in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon... it all depends on when I'm feeling sluggish these days.

But here's the point. Master X is obsessed with it. At first I thought it was just the enjoyment of shaking the container, and I fully expected him to spit his first sip out. Instead, he asked for more. Now we drink it every day. We call it "Mommy's milkshake," and he sucks it down like I've just given him a chocolate milkshake. (Now I am not saying that it tastes anything like a chocolate milkshake.) In the picture I'm posting, he's actually standing at the front door of our apartment, cornered after he took mine and tried to run away with it.

So if any of you Mamas are looking for an energy boost, or think you or your kiddos could use some additional veggies or cell-enriching antioxidants, I think this is a great solution. (It's only available online, so I can give you some of mine if you're interested.) It even works in smoothies, or with protein powder.

And there's one thing you can trust... if it's passed the strict tastebud regulations of both Mister B and Master X, it can't be bad.

A scarflet for great auntie

This scarflet was a very quick knit. So quick that it could easily be knit in a day. I wanted to knit something for my great auntie's birthday, which she now shares with Miss L. This year she turned 89 and I was so happy that we were able to all celebrate together.

The pattern for this scarflet was very poorly written so I added a lot of notes on Ravelry to give more specific instructions so that the stitches match up properly.

I chose to knit it with some lavender yarn that I've had stashed away for years (from my initial knitting class on the upper westside five years ago) since purple is one of my great auntie's favorite colors. I decided that it needed a little more detail so I found a lovely mother of pearl button to sew on for decoration only.

Halibut and Spinach

The other night I decided to cook a bit more than usual. I had halibut and spinach but wanted to do something more exciting than broil the fish so I went to epicurious.com and plugged in halibut and spinach and this is what I found. I used small potatoes because it is what I had from CSA that week and just layered them on the front and back of the fish (no skin) pressing with parchment paper and carefully turning them in the pan. Check out this recipe at:

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Potato-Wrapped-Halibut-with-Sauteed-Spinach-351544

This leads me to thinking about the closing of Gourmet Magazine. It is extremely sad news in the culinary world I am told. I was sad to hear because I had just started receiving it in the mail (as a replacement for Domino closing). I liked it much more than Domino, really looked forward to its arrival and left me wondering why had I resisted this magazine in the past? Well, among other reasons logging on to epicurious is just far easier than thumbing through magazines at 8 PM on a tuesday night and it is free. I guess I am part of the problem (although epicurious IS the creation of Conde Nast) or perhaps just the new wave of instant information seekers. I did just buy a Kindle and love it, for the most part.

Just some thoughts as I sit relaxed on my computer with no kiddies around to stop me.
Happy cooking!

Southern Hospitality

When arriving in Tennessee a few days ago I noticed a sign as I entered the ladies room. It said "Nursing Station". I did a double take, kept walking and as I turned the corner here is what I saw. How nice I thought. Then I thought how prudish are these southerners to be sending the message that breast feeding should be done in the restroom, not in public. What do you think?
I actually think it is a nice thing to have and the restrooms where quite clean.

www.coyoteinsight.blogspot.com

Her Genes, My Belly

I will come out and say that I am “infertile,” though this term feels overly strong, given that I am also a parent of a child who undeniably has Mama’s dimples. Modern medicine really makes you scratch your head. But it is thanks to the miracles of science that in 2007, we conceived our little guy from IVF, and today, that Mister A and I have found ourselves in an unexpectedly intimate situation with a nubile 22 year-old.

Yes, in our case it will take three to have a baby (and of course you ladies, our “urban village,” to help once the having part is done!). We are using an egg donor, and sometime next month we should be entering into the final phase of my now-epic quest for a sequel to Master K.

I remember exactly how the doctor first brought it up. It was in between failures number two and three, and I was in for a consult on what next to do, and he gently probed for my “feelings” about using an egg donor. It was the strangest thing. I had no feelings, because I’d never really thought about it, beyond having seen somewhat sketchy advertisements for donors in the backs of magazines and in the odd movie theater. I remember answering that I was “pro” the right to do it, as if someone had asked me about abortion, and with that same sense of remove one has for concepts that you’ve only ever read about and not experienced.

After failure three, the topic was renewed. Mister A and I had talks. He was so, so reluctant to let go of the idea of our next baby coming from my genes. Against the doc’s advice, we proceeded with a doomed IVF number four. After that, hubby shook his head and went online to research the latest cutting-edge reproductive technology for women such as myself whose eggs, for whatever infuriating reason, are older than she is in years. He came back from his studies, hair askew, and said we could fly to China, where they apparently are experimenting in using donor ovum that has been scooped out and refilled with the mother’s genetic material. Now I love a twice-baked potato as much as the next gal, but there’s a limit to my efforts at getting my own bun in this oven.

And so. I phoned the donor services lady, and overnight my gmail account became swamped with profiles and childhood photos of women seeking to donate their eggs (“donate” is a funny term, given the $8000 fee, plus $2000 more to the email-mad aforementioned service). I felt like a I’d finally entered into the Match.com world I’d just managed to avoid in my dating years. Piled up in my in-box were several brown-haired, brown-eyed duds who looked nothing like me, and a few head-scratchers (including one woman who, with apparent sincerity, described her ethnic origins as “25% Bohemian”). The majority of donors were crazy tall (many cash-poor models and actresses). Many were Eastern European. Not very many came across as intelligent or funny, top criteria from a risk-averse couple not wishing to gamble on nature vs. nurture.

Finally I found my gal who, at 5’ 5”, was the shortest, with myriad intellectual interests, a huge smile, what looked to be great silky dark-blonde hair around the age of 11, and a decidedly wacky streak (listing both Black Flag and Patsy Cline among her musical “favorites”). She and her family have a very clean and fortunate health background. After she went for initial testing at my doctor's, the nurse called me to say that she was funny and enthusiastic, and looked a lot like me (though one suspects this is always the reassuring report).

In we go next week to see the doctor and firm up the schedule for our “joint cycle.” So I’m now, with an ironic head-shake, popping the birth control pill every morning in order to be synced up with my anonymous gal-pal. I hope the eventual child(ren) of this scientific threesome is indeed intelligent, since he/she/they will need the wherewithal to fathom all that led up to creation day…

I will report again, Mamas!

Baby Block Cake

Since I wasn't cooking for Master L's baby naming, I thought I would make a cake. I looked online and found a beautiful sheet cake with baby blocks covered in fondant with the baby's name on it. I decided that never mind the fact that I had a newborn and toddler in house, I was going to make this cake. Mister R reminded me how frustrated I was working with fondant on Master A's first birthday Curious George cupcakes, but I couldn't be deterred.

My first obstacle was going to be creating the block shapes. In looking at the cakes online, I was doubtful as whether I could cut a larger cake into squares that wouldn't fall apart and make perfect cubes. After much searching online, I found one 3x3 pan by Fat Daddio through Amazon and ordered some white fondant and pastel colored as well. (I wasn't crazy enough to dye my own fondant). Thankfully, I ordered the white fondant in 80 0z not 8- or I would have run out. I was planning on just using a 9x13 pan, but a few days before the baking was to begin, I became nervous that it wouldn't be enough for 16 adults and several cake eating kids. Forgetting that there would be four cubes that could be cut into four pieces each, I decided I needed a sheet cake. This was the night before baking and it was too late to order online. I did see one at Bed, Bath & Beyond online, but after going to the store, I learned it was not available in the tri-state area- only online. After panic set in and Mister R talked me and my hormones down, I decided to double the 9x13 cakes with a layer of icing in the middle.

The next morning, with Master A in his booster seat watching the action and crying Master L hanging on me in his sling I began baking. I'm not sure why I didn't wait for Master A to take his nap, but I had only had about four hours of sleep and the brain wasn't functioning properly. I had decided to use the Magnolia vanilla cake recipe that everyone seemed to love for cupcakes for Mama V and Miss L's farewell party (another mama friend gave me the Cook's Illustrated best vanilla cake recipe but since Gristede's did not have cake flour that morning - I could not bear another trip to Whole Foods). I knew I would need to triple the recipe but instead of doing it in batches, I just started throwing triple the ingredients in. It was more butter than I had ever seen. Nothing blended well and it took forever to get the wet ingredients to mix properly. By then, I realized my error and broke the rest of the dry ingredients to two equal parts. This required math and Mama N knows how much I enjoy doing math to figure out my knitting so this slowed me down a bit.

Finally, I put the first 9x13 pan in the oven along with a block. Both boys were asleep at this point, and out of the kitchen. Not thinking, I filled the block to the rim. After 10 minutes I checked the block, thinking it would cook faster but it didn't. After another 10 minutes, while mixing the rest of the ingredients and multitasking and making a call to UPS, I see a thick layer of smoke gathering in the kitchen. Frantically, I throw the phone and open the oven to see the block bubbling over and a mess at the bottom. Smoke kept pouring out of the oven. A few months ago, while Mister R was cooking bacon without a cookie sheet underneath to catch the grease, the stove caught on fire. Mister R was able to get it out just as six maintenance men in our building charged in the apartment. I had visions of this happening again. I cleaned up the mess and managed to prevent more smoke from forming, but the fog lingered in the apartment all day. Needless to say, that block didn't work out very well. Once I cut off its muffin top that formed, the whole block crumbled. I was in a panic that this mold wouldn't work and I'd have no blocks.

Baking took all day as I didn't really think about the fact that I needed to let the pans completely cool before removing and restarting the process. The rest of the blocks came out fine (filled only halfway) but after starting at about 10 am- the last one came out when Mister R walked in the door around 6 pm. I was not happy. I froze the cake for a few hours and then iced the cake (requiring another 10 pm run to Gristede's by Mister R for more confectioner's sugar). The large cakes were thicker than expected but I was afraid to shave too much off the top. I knew it was going to be a very tall cake. I froze the cake overnight and mentally prepared to work with the fondant.

Mister R helped roll out the fondant to cover the cake and blocks. When I watch the Ace of Cakes or Cake Boss, they just cover it and it seems to smooth nicely. However, when I tried to do it, I couldn't get the corners to smooth neatly. It was lumpy, cracked and created folds. I also didn't have a lot of extra pastel fondant and was initially afraid it wouldn't cover. Mister R was losing patience with me and we just covered the cakes. If I tried this again, I would read more about how to handle fondant at the corners and not end up with wrinkles. I cut out letters for Master L's name and then it was time to head out for a well needed break at Master K and Master L's 2nd birthday party.

Later that night, I decided I was going to decorate the other sides of the blocks. On one side I put Master L's birth date 8/16/09, weight and length, another side the word Baby (which I didn't realize was backwards on the finished product) and then for fun (yes I was actually having fun now) some designs, moon and stars, a bottle, a pacifier, a beach ball, heart, and my favorite- a bootie. By this time it was after midnight and I needed to get some sleep before the big day.

It really was a much bigger project than I expected. I probably spent about 12 hours on the cake (some time- just cooking time). I would recommend just using a sheet cake or one layer and possibly getting additional block pans to cut down on bake time. Also, not everyone loves the taste of fondant, so I might have just iced it and not used fondant on the base of the cake, just the cubes. Thankfully, for all the work, it was a big hit. The guests all seemed to be impressed with the look and taste of it. I ended up with two blocks and about half a cake left so I brought the cake to the park and some mamas got a treat for the afternoon as well. It's been four days and we are still eating cake!

Homemade playdough

Lately I've been thinking of creative ways to entertain Miss L at home. I'd much prefer arts and crafts to television, although I will admit that Miss L and I do watch Curious George on PBS on a regular basis.

Here are some of the ways we spend a morning or afternoon at home:

1. I set up a playlist on my iPod with Music Together, Baby Loves Jazz, Lisa Loeb, They Might Be Giants and Dan Zanes songs. I play the music and dump a ton of musical instruments on the floor and Miss L dances and plays the instruments while I sing along to the songs. I've also found that she loves Latin pop music so I created a separate playlist with Juanes, Julieta Venega, Laura Pausina and Lenine.

2. We set up crafts at her little play table. We use crayons, easel paper, construction paper, toddler scissors, toddler glue and yarn scraps. As I mentioned to Mama V sometimes we have a finished object, and oftentimes it gets taken apart by Miss L a few minutes later. I try to focus on the act of crafting rather than having something finished, especially with the short attention span of a toddler.

3. Small puzzles have been great. Miss L has a box that contains four puzzles with each puzzle only containing four pieces. This makes it less frustrating for Miss L and more likely that we can finish it and then talk about what is in the puzzle picture. The Melissa & Doug wooden puzzles are great too. Miss L's favorite puzzle right now is a farm animal puzzle that has mom and baby animals.

4. Recently we received a recipe for homemade playdough from Miss L's yoga/art class. This is wonderful to mold into different shapes. You can use cookie cutters or stamp molds with it too. Here is the recipe:

1 cup flour
1 cup water

1/2 cup salt

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

2 tablespoons oil

Food coloring (optional)

Mix all ingredients in a pot. Cook over low heat until thickened. Cool, knead and have fun!

I am wondering if you have any other creative activities for home!

Nanny Poppins

Source: www.godutchbaby.blogspot.com

With all of this bedrest and waiting for the twins arrival, I have decided that it is time to staff up the household.

As many of you mamas know, I tend to be a little timid about finding help, but it is time to realize that I need it. Over the last two weeks I have dedicated my time laying in bed to finding the right help for our family. Mister T and my parents have been and will be a tremendous help but I can't ask them to do everything.

The first thing I did was hire a housekeeper. This has helped tremendously. Even before bedrest I quickly realized that scrubbing a tub was not very doable or safe for a pregnant woman. Our neighbors recommended a wonderful housekeeper who now comes in weekly to clean and do the laundry. She has also offered to run errands which will come in very handy when the twins arrive.

The second thing I did was hire a mother's helper for Miss L. This was a hard thing for me to do because I still want to do everything for Miss L. But my mental will cannot outmatch my physical limitations right now. I was very nervous to find the right person that would care for Miss L with the same focus and attention that I do. I was reluctant to use a random mothers board posting for a recommendation. Then I remembered that Mama N had spoken with other mothers in the neighborhood when she was looking for help back when we were neighbors. I followed in her footsteps and sent out emails to the mothers I had met here in SF over the last couple of months.

I found a lovely British nanny who started today and will be helping us two mornings a week. I expect that we will ask her to help more as we get closer to the twins arrival. What really made me feel comfortable, and excited, to have her help us was seeing Miss L's immediate response to her. When she stopped by for an initial visit a couple of weeks ago, Miss L ran right up to her and engaged her in playing. Miss L showed off her dance moves and giggled the entire time. And after just meeting her once for a couple of hours, Miss L already asks for her by name each day and pretends to call her on the phone. I have heard it often, and now I understand that it just clicks and you know it.

Next on the list is a postpartum doula. I interviewed two doulas based on recommendations from my prenatal swim instructor who also is a labor doula. I just hired my doula today. She will come for her first visit the day we come home from the hospital and then will come to help a few days a week for the first two months. Mostly I am looking for breastfeeding support and an extra set of hands as I learn how to care for two little ones at once. I found someone who is warm and nurturing and also very positive and upbeat, which I think will help tremendously in those first few sleep-deprived weeks. Miss L also enjoyed meeting her and wanted to show her all of her toys, which I thought was a good sign. Having a doula will also help me find little bits of time that I can share alone with Miss L even if it is just to read one story together.

While I found the beginning of this process of finding help to be daunting and scary, I am feeling really good about my decisions as the pieces start to fall into place.

On a side note, I also found a great CSA, Farm Fresh to You, that delivers farm-fresh fruit and vegetables to your door once a week. We received our first box of goodies this week and I was very pleased with the variety and quality, including grapes, beets, tomatoes, lettuce, chard, potatoes and peppers. Each box includes a note from the farm and sample recipes. It's not as fun as strolling over to Provisions with all of you for the summer CSA, but it is a great way to keep my kitchen stocked with fresh fruit and veggies.

In-flight refueling

Mama, Master R and Master T in-flight refueling.

For weeks before the birth of Master T I had a recurring nightmare. Each time I was in the park trying to breastfeed the new baby while Master R bolted towards the busy road. I just didn't know how I was going to cope with a newborn's frequent feeding demands and the high energy of Master R.

A couple of weeks ago I was running late for an appointment and Master T was screaming for food. So I maneuvered the baby Bjorn, lifted my top, lowered Master T's head and he started sucking. Problem solved! He suckled away and we made it to the appointment on time.

Mr M has called it in-flight refueling. Since then many of Master T's feeds are done this way. I even worked a full day at London Fashion Weekend while feeding my hungry babe. Only one woman asked me if my baby was sleeping or feeding.

I'd read about it on HRPMamas forum and I had seen a mother doing it in Tribeca once but can't believe that I didn't try it with Master R. It saves so much time. No more stopping for feeds, just feed on the go. I highly recommend it if you haven't done it before.

When only Mommy will do...

Master X has always been a bit of a mama's boy. It hasn't posed much of a problem until now. He loves playing with his dad, has a close bond with his grandmother, and generally enjoys people. When his other grandparents or aunts/uncles visit, he warms to them immediately. He's had the same morning nanny since he was three months old and knows her just as well as any family member. I've always been his go-to person, and rightly so, in my opinion. I've been his primary caretaker for all two years and two months of his life.

In the past, Master X had no problem with me leaving the room or the apartment, and would usually smile and wave as I walked out the door. That's not the case anymore. Now, he cries whenever one of us separates from the other. He frequently runs into the office when he's with his nanny, asking for me to pick him up and play, and only wants me if I'm around. It's endearing and sweet, but also tiring. We pay the nanny so that I can accomplish things that are impossible when I'm also watching Master X, not so that he can have two playmates instead of one. Lately, I've resorted to sneaking around the house so that he can't see me when I'm trying to get work done.

Now, you may think that Master X is a neglected child whose parents are paying someone to raise their child. Not so. Master X has undivided "mommy time" for at least an hour in the morning before the nanny arrives, and then all afternoon and evening before he goes to bed. We do classes with friends and play together just the two of us. On the weekends, it's all mommy, all the time. Daddy is around, too, but mommy is still generally at the helm. Mister B and I have left him overnight twice, once a year ago and once this past August. Nothing has changed in the past (almost) two years. So what's going on?

This separation anxiety, for lack of a better term, isn't just happening during the day. It's begun to rear it's ugly head at bed time and is causing a tremendous amount of disruption. Those of you who know Master X know that he is "go, go, go" all day long. As a result, he's always been a great sleeper, going down relatively smoothly and sleeping for eleven or twelve hours. We did have to deal with sleep training when he was somewhere between four and five months old, and it was a challenge because he's so stubborn, but once we got past the hurdle, it was smooth sailing. Until now. For the past week, he's thrown a hysterical fit every time I put him in the crib - he won't let his dad do this anymore. He screams for me and for certain wayward stuffed animals in his crib. "Mommy! Blue bunny... blue bunny!"

It's impossible for me to ignore his screams, especially now that he's specifically calling for me. Master X's crying has always elicited an involuntary response in my body. My heart rate accelerates, I begin to sweat and I generally feel like someone is stabbing me in the stomach. It's been like this since he was born. So when he starts freaking out - something he has only done rarely in the past - I am compelled to go in and try to soothe him. If he's merely crying or whining, I can control myself and stay out of his room, but not when he's bellowing like he's in terrible pain. Two nights ago, after going in five times in about twenty minutes to soothe him, and then leaving as he began screaming again, Mister B suggested we give him ten minutes to calm down, like we did when we were in sleep training hell. Instead of calming down, Master X's protests grew louder and louder, eventually turning into some hyena-like hyperventilating. When I finally gave in, I discovered that he'd gotten so riled up that he threw up all over his crib. By the time I cleaned him and the bed and went through a bit more back and forth of getting him down (involving me agreeing to sit in his chair if he agreed to stay in his crib), it had been an hour and forty minutes since we began the bedtime ritual.

Last night, I decided that we'd do things differently. It troubles me that he's unhappy, but we've always had a routine and I don't want to start any bad habits. Instead of picking him up, I agreed to sit in the chair again. He was calm until I tried to leave... after about fifteen minutes of silence on his part. The second (and I mean second) I stood to leave, he sat bolt upright and began freaking. Thus began our second night of back and forth. Tonight, it was pretty much the same thing, except that I went straight to the chair as soon as I put him in instead of first trying to leave the room. I waited fifteen (hungry) minutes before leaving under protest and then listened to the crying for about five minutes before Master X quieted. Better than the two nights before, but still a problem. Last week, he went to bed with no issues at all, so it's hard to understand what's going on. I even tried a night light tonight, the twilight turtle, but no dice. He wanted it out of the room from the second I turned it on.

So that's where we are and I have no idea how to make it better. I feel terribly guilty every time he gets upset. Is it possible that he senses all the changes coming his way in about three months? We talk about his "baby brother" all the time, but he's never given me any indication that he actually understands what's going on. In fact, when I write that "we" talk, it's really just me. The topic generally bores him and he tunes me out or walks away. Still, I'm trying to be sensitive to the fact that his life will be turned upside down and that he may understand more than he lets on. On the other hand, I refuse to let Master X turn into a dictator and develop habits that are disruptive to the entire household.

Now what do we do?

Finished object: a ragdoll

I really enjoyed knitting this ragdoll for Miss L's second birthday. It is a Debbie Bliss pattern from the book Essential Knits from Kids. It was a quick knit and I have a lot of left over yarn to make more dolls. I actually spent more time on the finishing than the knitting. I felt like this project really helped me practice my finishing skills. I also enjoyed reading the finishing tips in the book. I took my time with everything and am really happy with how it turned out.

I decided to use yellow yarn for the doll's hair to match Miss L's and put a little bumblebee button on the back of the dress. Miss L is fascinated by bumblebees right now and we are going to have a bumblebee cake for her second birthday so I thought it would be a nice tie into the birthday bee theme.

I can't wait for Miss L to open this gift on her birthday. I think it has been my favorite knitting project so far.

Next up on the knitting queue are layette sets for the twins. One yellow and one green.

What to do with two (or three)?

Source: iCandy


Source: Bambino Goodies

Mama's A and H and I have been having an email discussion about the best strollers for transporting our expanding broods. I've opted for the Baby Bjorn option for Master T with Master R in the regular old Bugaboo and only have a double running stroller (which sadly is Master T is too small and wobbly for). Once Master T is too heavy I'll put him in the Ergo carrier. But after that I'm not too sure. There are some times when you just want to push them and not carry them. (And it limits your wardrobe options ha ha.)

I bought a buggy board before I left the US and subsequently discovered that they give them away for free here in my (underprivileged) borough to encourage safety. However Mama A and I both agree that our boys are far too energetic to be safely constrained to it.

Mama A saw was told about this British brand iCandy "pushchair" as above that is coming stateside in a couple of months. I don't know anyone who has one but will check it out in the next few days and see if it could be suitable for Master X.

This morning I saw a mother pushing her three kids - two in a double and the older on the buggy bike above. If it has a seat belt (doesn't look like it sadly) it might be a better option than a buggy board and much more fun for Master R. We'll have to fight to get him off rather than the usual getting him in tantrum.

What do you think? What are your plans or do you currently use to transport your babes?


Edit: Just saw this convertible pushchair to bike. Brilliant - for one only sadly.

Becoming a full time mama

Source: BBC

It's 9:30pm. I've run around after the boys all day and then tried to do a full day's work. I've thrown together a bolognaise ready to serve to Mr M when he walks in the door at around 10. I boil the water go to put the pasta in and realise I have no pasta. A frantic call later Mr M walks through the door with the pasta asking me how I can forget the pasta when I went shopping for a pasta dish. This isn't the first time it's happened.

You see it's not just the pasta I forget. I forget to have a shower. I forget that I put washing in washing machine the night before and now it's smelling musty. I forget to pay my congestion charge for driving in central London and now face a fine of £60/$120. I forget to put out the rubbish and miss the collection with an overflowing bin. I forget to take Master R's shoes to nursery so he can't play outside and I forget to take my keys out of the bugaboo the when I left it at nursery locking myself outside. Let's not even go into my personal finances where I forget to transfer money regularly and overdraw my accounts.

The issue is that for the past 20 months I have been juggling motherhood, running a home (a difficult and generally discounted job!), and a partner who works very long hours and is very reliant on me to run the show. All this on top of running a business full time. Not to mention attempting to look after myself and knitting.

While I don't feel that I'm on the brink of a breakdown or anything, I just feel constant guilt. Guilt that I'm not giving anything 100%. I'm failing as a partner, failing as a homemaker, failing as a business woman, but most importantly failing as a mother. Something had to give. I've made the decision to close down my business.

It wasn't an easy decision. I started the business naively thinking that it would be easier working for myself when I had children. The opposite is true. It is so much easier to be an employee and take your maternity leave while the concerns of the business are left with the business.

I am relieved that the decision has been made and this chapter has now closed behind me. I'm looking forward to a new start. I want to focus on looking after myself, getting fitter and working on a few other projects. Most importantly I don't want to feel guilty that the boys aren't getting the best mother and "wife" that I can be.

Finished Objects (o.k., not finished by me...)

Mamas,

I've been quiet for a spell - summer weekends on Fire Island have kept me away from computers, and by day's end I'm reduced to a useless rag with just enough energy for Mad Men with vino (bless you, sexy Don Draper, you cheating scoundrel). But I'm hoping this fall to have more time to post, and read and re-read your own wonderful posts.

Let's kick it off with a few of my mother-in-law's gifties to her precious GrandMaster K, for his recent second birthday:






Oooooh. Aaaaah. I can relax and drop my knitting-needled pretense - she has us covered.

But I haven't totally given up on the domestic goddess approach to life...I have received a 3-year subscription to Fine Cooking, and I intend to do some of just that. So stay tuned and I'll share the least-maintenance, most delicious recipes that I come across. Mama H's pancake recipe book kept me busy on weekends this summer. Wish I could jet over to her place and do some cooking relief for Mister T! I do look forward to hearing dispatches from her bed-rest... with all that lying down and thinking, she's sure to be a zen master by December!

- Mama V.

And still more finished gifts

As mentioned in a previous post I've been knitting so much for others that I forgot that my own poor son Master R doesn't have a hat or gloves for winter. After a little searching through Ravelry I found this free pattern for the Norwegian Earflap hat. I love the challenge of knitting this intarsia star pattern and yet the speed you can finish it since it's a small project.

After knitting Master R's hat I liked it so much that I made another one for a friend's little boy's 2nd birthday. I did it without a pompom. I personally like it with the pompom but wasn't sure about it - I'm always so insecure with my knitting and not sure that people will like it. That's why I've only just started gift knitting again. So what do you think? With or without pompom?

The final picture is the back of a coat I knitted. The pattern looks incredibly complex but it honestly just looks that way. When we moved back to London from New York in February I wanted to bring along one big project that would keep me going for the 12 weeks until our boxes arrived. This was the perfect project. It's all done in moss (seed) stitch (k1, p1) so it takes a while. And you do need to concentrate on getting the vines and flowers in the right place. I had finished it months ago except one sleeve which I finished just before Master T was born. I really do need to take some nice pictures of it though. The buttons are just beautiful

In hindsight I really wish that I'd done this in grey. I love wearing grey and don't enjoy purple so much. But I was really trying to get out of my grey rut where everything I was knitting myself was grey. I've given up now and will just knit in grey because then I know I'll wear it. So while this isn't technically a gift knit, I'll probably not wear it often and should really give it away. It's just about finding someone who does like purple handknitted coats.

Time to put my feet up

Miss L imitating her mommy's bedrest

A few weeks ago I had my usual biweekly ultrasound at the hospital. The twins looked great, growing and developing and moving a lot. They took cute profile pictures of Boy AA and Girl BB that I could take home. At the end of the appointment they measured my cervix, which is a leading indicator of preterm labor, a risk that becomes higher with multiples. They discovered that it had shortened by half so the doctor ordered me downstairs for monitoring. There they hooked me up to a machine to see if I was having contractions. I told them I had only experienced fatigue (associated with chasing after a toddler) and the usual lower back pain associated with pregnancy (especially when your belly has grown to the size of mine with two little ones inside).

Well, the monitor confirmed that I was having contractions. They were mild, but every two minutes. At this point the shots started. I still can't pronounce the medication that was injected into my arm, but I can tell you that the effect was like drinking a barrel of espresso. The jolt was so strong that I could barely say the word "cashmerino" when I was explaining to the nurse that I was knitting a doll for Miss L's upcoming birthday. It took two shots to stop the contractions and then it was decided that I would need to stay overnight for observation, just in case they started again in the middle of the night.

By this time I was worried and nervous, and in a strange hospital all by myself. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. The sobbing started when I realized that I would have to spend my first night away from Miss L. My mother drove in to watch Miss L while Mister T brought me some things to calm me down and distract me, like my knitting bag and stack of New Yorkers that had been piling up.

I was very lucky to have the most amazing nurses taking care of me during my overnight stay. They sat with me for hours trying to assuage my fears, reassure me that Miss L was going to be just fine for this one night and help me talk through how I could make adjustments to my daily routine in order to take it easier. My night nurse came in the room to tuck me in when I was ready to go to sleep. I couldn't have asked for better care.

I returned home the next day and began my regimen of bed rest. I can be on my feet for a few hours a day, but need to lay down the rest of the time. Sitting up counts toward my few hours of being up.

The first few days were tough. I was missing my adventures with Miss L, taking her to the park and the pool. And I really missed being able to pick her up and hold her in my arms. I also started to fear that my household would quickly deteriorate into Grey Gardens without my meticulous upkeep. Luckily, Mister T is home, but this bed rest was going to put a lot on his plate. Speaking of plates, the first thing Mister T recommended that we change was to eat on paper plates (he has never liked doing the dishes)!

After we weathered the transition period (and avoided having to buy paper plates), things started to run smoothly again and everyone adjusted to a new routine, including me coming to grips with what I just can't do or control right now and being okay with it. Mister T is handling everything from picking up Miss L out her crib first thing in the morning to preparing all the meals to cleaning up after the meals to doing all the food shopping to taking Miss L on walks and to the park. Miss L has handled everything wonderfully, although at times she can't help but ask if Mommy can jump up and down and dance with her. I just tell her I will join her very soon again in these fun adventures.

I also remind myself that bed rest can be common with multiples. I'm lucky that it's only a few more months. And the doctor hasn't put me on daily medication or a home monitoring device so while we need to be cautious we don't need to panic. I just need to put my feet up, take deep yoga breaths and enjoy my knitting.

Boy oh boy!

Source: www.myfavoritefavors.net

It has been a long time since I posted, but more on that later. I want to make this first post back about the beautiful baby boys that have recently arrived to our TKMamas group. Mamas J and N are doing superb jobs caring for their newborn and toddler sons. I think we have all enjoyed the recent photos of Masters A and R posing with their little brothers. And aren't we lucky to have "mama of two" expert Mama LS for good advice and understanding?!

We now count ten boys with my Miss L still holding the spot of the only girl in the group! Miss L has been repeating "boy, boy, boy" around the house and Mister T is hoping she is not already boy crazy. I just think she is remembering all of her friends from playgroup.

About a month ago the Times wedding section had a wonderful story about a bride and groom who first met as infants in their neighborhood playgroup. Don't worry, I'm not trying to marry off Miss L before she turns two. What I love about this story is that even though the groom's family moved away when they were just toddlers, every year they returned to visit and reconnect with their playgroup friends so the bride and groom had this sense of growing up together over shared summer vacations.

I can only hope that Miss L and I will see all of you every year! I loved the end of the story when the two moms walked down the aisle together in the wedding procession. You could feel their connectedness after all those years and miles between them.

Some completed gift knits

I had vowed never to knit a gift again following a bad experience. But since Mama J is a fellow knitter I decided it was a safe gift. Given how much Master A loves George I thought his brother would too so I made him a George the monkey. It's a great quick crochet project that is very cute! And believe it or not I actually ran out of the brown so I had to give him a tshirt and shorts.

Then I knitted up a vest for Master L. I love this pattern. It's normally done in thick yarn and is also a quick knit. Not wanting to leave out Master A, and because two boys look so cute in matching clothes, I also knitted him a vest. It's done on thicker yarn so was just as quick as the small one to complete. Actually it was quicker because I didn't put the grey around the sleeves. I didn't have the right yarn so left it off. It looks cute anyway. NB. The vests are the same navy but the lighting was different in each picture so one looks a bit washed out.

The top picture is Iggle Piggle a children's TV character here. Master R just loves the show and it's one show I don't mind him watching. If you saw the pics of me catching a bus to the hospital to give birth to Master T you'll see me crocheting this. It was my goal to give it to Master R when I left hospital as a little present. But I didn't quite get it finished in time. Unfortunately Master R showed zero attention to it. He's never liked any soft toys! Oh well, it looks cute on the chair in his room. Maybe Master T will like it.

The trend continues: introducing Timo

How can it be that I too have a boy? What's in the water in BPC? What's more, why is everyone I know having two of the same? Strange phenomenon going on. I'm thrilled though. I think secretly I wanted another boy. Master R and Master T will be so close in age that it will be nice to be brothers. Will just have to convince Mr M for another one and this time hope for a girl. Mr M by the way is chuffed to bits to have another boy. He's such boy man that I actually can't see him with a girl. But I know his heart would melt the moment the little girl said "Papi" and gave him a big cuddle.

We've had a few comments about the name. I didn't actually think it was all that unusual but I guess if I wasn't living with a German it would be strange to me too. Timo is pronounced "Teemo" and is not and uncommon name in Germany/Holland/Scandiland. And yes it also happens to be another Formula 1 driver, Timo Glock, just like Ralf Schumacher. You can tell where we get our inspiration! Luckily for me, sadly for Mr M, our boys will most likely be too tall to be F1 drivers. Most are about 5'8 with shoes on. We'll have to focus on tennis, swimming, football (the round ball type) and rugby.

So how am I feeling? Apart from being sore from the c-sec and having sore nipples (Mama LS was right, it does hurt again the second time boo hoo), I feel absolutely fine. Master T just seems so easy. He sleeps, eats, sleeps, poos, eats, sleeps etc. He doesn't seem as alert or noise sensitive as Master R (oh dear, the comparisons have started already), and just seems like a calmer baby in general. If I could use one word to sum up how I feel it's lazy. Completely and utterly lazy. I don't feel like doing a single thing but lazing about on the sofa knitting. I don't even feel like walking up all the hideous stairs in this house to bed. Just sitting. And knitting.

My mum's here for another 8 days so I've decided just to spend that time doing as much sitting and knitting as possible. Then the fun will begin.

Master R on the other hand isn't doing quite so well. But that's another blog post.

Introducing Mini Master L

Well- I can't believe it- MiniMaster L arrived- three weeks early! It was quite a labor and delivery experience so I thought I'd share my cautionary tale to all of you pregnant mamas. If you are in labor- run, don't walk to the hospital. Master L was almost delivered in a cab- by Mr. R. I can't even imagine.

On Saturday, we had a quiet afternoon, going for lunch and just walking along the waterfront. I had some cramping, but thought nothing of it. At about 11 p.m. my water broke. I was in denial. It was three weeks early, we had no plan to care for Master A, we had no bag packed, no list prepared of Master A's schedule. We were not ready- but Master L was.

I called the doctor and she told me to come up to her office in Tribeca. It turns out I was only 1 cm dialated and had a "thick cervix". My OB told me it would be hours and I should just labor at home till I was closer. I didn't think it would take that long because it was only a few hours with Aidan but I didn't want to be in the hospital all night. Thankfully, my brother in law was in town this weekend, as many of my mama friends I may have called were not. He came over to stay for the night.

I got home a little after midnight and within a half hour the contractions started coming faster. Some weren't terrible, so I wasn't sure if they all were contractions and how far apart they were. We frantically tried to write up some lists on Master A, pack a few cosmetics in a Ziploc, and grab my non-filled out preadmissions paperwork for the hospital. Then, the contractions became much worse and only about two minutes or so apart. I had just left the OB only two hours ago. I didn't think there was any way I could be that far along. By 2:30 a.m., Ryan dragged me out the door. We jumped in a cab and headed to midtown. About halfway through, I became delirious. I couldn't get comfortable on the seat and was just groaning. The cabbie started flying through the city. When we arrived, he had to back down 59th street the wrong way to get us to the emergency room door. I am just thankful that I didn't think to push to alleviate the pressure. I was so miserable that I absolutely would have- not thinking of the consequences. Some nurses at the hospital told me that some taxis will deny pregnant women (though it's illegal) b/c they don't want to deal.

We went upstairs and after telling them I needed to push and my OB had called and said I was a direct admin (she was on her way by bicycle), they told me I was 10 cm plus one. I was absolutely miserable b/c I knew there would be no epidural for me. (I loved my epidural with Master A. It is great if you want to deliver naturally, but I had no desire to be a super hero. I never had any intention on delivering naturally.) Everyone was running around the room, pulling off my clothes and my OB raced up. Within 15 minutes and four pushes, Master L was here. I couldn't believe it. Although it wasn't long, it felt like hours and I really felt like I was going to die.

When he came out, we saw that the cord was wrapped around his neck 2xs and also had a knot in it. We were extremely lucky. If I had my epidural, it would have slowed down labor and Master L would have probably gone into distress. I don't even want to think of it. So- in the end it was a blessing. It's funny, I was never officially admitted to the hospital, it was called a "precipitous delivery". The moral of my tale- spend more time laboring in the hospital- these second babies come barreling through.

I decided to try breastfeeding with Master L. It wasn't for me with Master A (I know I'll hear about it when he's older- how I loved Master L more to give him a better start). Wow- it is tough and painful. Any advice from you experienced mamas would be appreciated.

It is much different this time, coming home to an active 18 month old and because I never had a chance to slow things down for my business- I'm having to put in a few hours for that each day. I wasn't sure if I'd need help- but now I know I absolutely will. Can't wait for you all to meet the munchkin.

My birthday surprise

I turned a year older last week. I begged the powers that be for a baby but instead I got this piano! It was a lovely surprise. I received a phone call around lunchtime asking if I'd be home at 3 for a special delivery (oh do I miss my concierge in NYC!). Of course I stayed in and it was worth it. Mr M had surprised me with a new piano.

From the time I was 6 until about 16 I endured the hours of practise required to be a pianist - not all willingly mind you. But now I thank my mother for making me get up at 6 each morning and do 1-2 hours practise before going out to groom my horses. I read an interview with one the mother of one of the current Billy Elliots and she said that making her son practise his ballet was a bit like making him brush his teeth - sometimes he doesn't want to do it but she knows it's the best thing for him and therefore makes him do it. That's how it was with my piano and I'm so glad my mother made me do it.

It was actually Mama V who first got my mind thinking about a piano. I visited her one day and tinkled about on her ivory keys for a few minutes and suddenly dreamed of sitting at my piano with Master R and playing beautifully. That's when I started to beg the man for a piano.

What a shock last week when I finally sat down to play. I really had forgotten everything. I'd forgotten even where the notes were apart from middle C. At least that's a good start! I tried to play something and could only get through a few bars of Fuer Elise. The other shock is how hard it is on my weakened wrists. Previously about 1 hour was done each day just on scales to strengthen my fingers and encourage agility but now of course they have neither.

I've been practising most evenings now and can kind of do a scale properly and pick out a page of Beethoven's "Mondschein". Mr M is really enjoying listening to me and of course Master R loves banging away at the keys. Longer term I hope it inspires some creativity in my son.

The urge to finish

I'm not sure if it has anything to do with being in the final days of my pregnancy but I've had this sudden urge to finish all those projects I've had lying around - some for nearly a year. While it looks like I've been ultra-productive, in most cases it has been about putting in a couple of hours to just get the project finished. That's what I've been doing the past couple of weeks so I now have a few finished projects to share.


First is this dress. I bought the fabric about 3 months ago. The style is the same as a $1 dress I bought off ebay and wear and wear and wear. With the elastic top it was great to breast feed in and it is just so comfortable. I'm wearing the old dress literally to it's death. The idea was to make this one for summer. As the nights get longer and summer draws to a close I probably won't get much of a chance to wear it this year but it's a great dress anyway and was so simple to make!

The fabric comes with the elastic already sewn in the top. You just whip up the side seams, top and hem. Viola! Easy! The yellow, red and green stripes mean it will look great with red sandals and red cardigan.

Sorry about the picture. I had to use the self timer on the kitchen bench.

Sorry also for this picture. But nothing I could do would give this cardigan justice. It looks wonky here but it's not. I'll take a live shot once I fit into it again. It is a stunning design with lovely 3/4 length sleeves in the same lacy pattern and a scalloped edge. However, this was the most difficult knitting project I have ever undertaken! Only because the pattern was written so badly. It was almost as if they wanted you to fail from the outset. Just terrible. Mama J and Mama H, I promise I'll always help you with any knitting and crochet pattern you do EXCEPT this one!

Just a very basic blankie. Master R is such a little blankie boy (which I find very cute). But his wonderful 3Marthas blankie is in a sorry state. No matter how much I wash it I can't get out the ground in dirt. They don't make them anymore and I couldn't find one in blue and white on any of the US sites I searched so I thought I'd make one. The knitting was very simple but sewing the ribbon around wasn't so easy because my poor old machine didn't like sewing through the thickness of the wool. So I'm rather ashamed of my sewing and won't own up to it!

I was concerned that Master R would reject the replacement blankie but as soon as he saw it lying on the sofa he screamed for it and wouldn't let it go. Mission complete!

Last but my absolute favorite is this cabled hoody. I started it in October last year and had finished it by February but hadn't put in the zipper. I tried to get to the haberdashery store in NYC before I left but didn't get there. Finally yesterday I bought the zip and sewed it in. However, there is a big problem with this hoody. Those with a keen eye will see that there is a lighter strip of knitting around the waist line. I was furious - I ran out of yarn and went back to The Point and was assured it was the same dyelot. As you can see it was not. I've considered ripping it back but decided to just live with it in the end. It's a lesson that I should ALWAYS check the dyelot and NEVER knit if it's not the same. Mamas J and H - this is a great pattern for you. The yarn is beautiful and the fit is wonderful. It's a quick knit too because it's on big needles.

Now to get back to the sofa and finish some more outstanding projects.