Finished object: first lace pattern

I am happy to announce I finally finished knitting a lace pattern scarf for my Mom (for her birthday which was two weeks ago, but better late than never!). Mama N was right. Once I became comfortable with the pattern I found it very easy and fast to knit. A lace pattern requires a little more concentration and focus. Any mistake will show very easily. I liked Mama N's advice to use some scrap yarn to weave through and mark each beginning row of the pattern (the above scarf was a 24-row pattern). This makes it easy to rip out your work if you make a mistake and know where to start again.

The pattern is Ribbon Lace Scarf.

I am very excited to start my first Brooklyn Tweed pattern this week. More on that project later...

From Julia Child's kitchen

A photo of Julia Child's kitchen; source: WBUR.org

After visiting my friend S during our recent trip to San Francisco, I was inspired to make a quiche, which S showed me was a simple and delicious item for a weekend brunch or a weekday lunch with your family. I rummaged around my kitchen for my Julia Child cookbooks. I found a copy of From Julia Child's Kitchen that Auntie Del had given me. I opened up the yellowing pages (I think Auntie Del bought the cookbook when it was first published in 1975) and found simple instructions to assemble a quiche.

The first item I made was the pie pastry for the quiche. Home-made pie pastry makes all the difference when you are baking, as I know Mama V will attest to for her home-made pizza dough. It gives you a flaky, delicious pie crust rather than the dull taste of frozen, store-bought pie dough. I really like Martha Stewart's recipe for Pate Brisee. What I like most about this recipe is that it gives you a nice buttery flavor that works well with sweet and savory baking without using shortening or lard. This recipe gives you two pastry shells so you can use one and store the other in the freezer for up to a month for future baking.

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (I love King Arthur flour)

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon sugar

1 cup chilled unsalted butter, cut into pieces

1/4 to 1/2 cup ice water

Place the flour, salt and sugar in the bowl of a food mixer, and process for a few seconds to combine. Add the butter pieces to the flour mixture and process until the mixture resembles a coarse meal. Add the ice water in a slow, steady stream until the dough holds together.

The great thing about making a quiche is that it is so accessible and simple. The basic quiche filling includes:

3 eggs

1/2 cup milk

1/4 tsp salt

a pinch of pepper

You can add any kind of cheese to a quiche. I like the combination of Swiss and Parmesan cheese. Julia Child advises to use about 3/4 cup cheese. You can also add any cooked leftovers you may have in your refrigerator, such as:

Bacon, ham or pancetta

Cauliflower or broccoli

Mushrooms

Smoked salmon

Asparagus

Spinach

To assemble a quiche roll out your chilled pie pastry and lay it in a buttered pie dish. Sprinkle 1/4 cup of your cheese on the pie pastry. Then add any additional ingredients. Last week I added leftover bacon and cauliflower. Pour in the basic quiche filling and sprinkle the remaining cheese. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes in a 375 degree oven. Serve warm or at room temperature over mixed greens. For New York mamas, Satur Farms provides lovely, and local, mixed greens, which you can purchase at Whole Foods or at the Greenmarket.

Hello dolly!

Let me introduce you to Doll. My friend J made this doll and gave it to me when I was still pregnant with Miss L so Doll has been by Miss L's side since Day 1.

A few days ago Miss L decided to start caring for Doll. Doll now takes naps in Miss L's moses basket with a carefully placed blanket by Miss L to keep her warm. Of course, Miss L does not let Doll nap for long (about 30 seconds) because there is just too much playing to do. Miss L rocks Doll in her Bloom rocker. Miss L kisses Doll's head making a sweet smooching sound and squeezes Doll close for a big hug. Miss L even tries to feed Doll. You will notice the strawberry smudge on Doll's face from a recent mid-morning fruit snack. When Miss L has a sip of water she then offers the water to Doll.

The other day Miss L really outdid herself. She dragged a bag of diapers from the cupboard and pulled one out. She then laid Doll down on a blanket and placed the diaper on top of Doll. Then she took the diaper off Doll and walked over to the rubbish can, lifted the lid and threw out the diaper!

It really is amazing how much our little ones watch and understand everything we do, even before they can communicate with us. Watching Miss L tenderly care for Doll just melts my heart!

Master R's new game

Source: Levintel.com

Master R has a new game. One that he finds hilarious. It must have started when I was changing him one day and he peed on me. I must have made a big deal about it and now it's turned into a game. Now whenever I'm changing him I can see him squeezing and squeezing. When a tiny dribble emerges he giggles away. When a large fountain appears he seems quite amazed.

Little boys...

First day of nursery school - not quite as expected

Masters R's first day of nursery school today. I was excited and couldn't wait to drop him off so he could have some interaction with other kiddies. He's always been a mummy's boy and suffers from separation anxiety. But generally he'll cry for 5-10mins and then be fine. He was in a crèche at Snowbird in January and was fine so I thought this would be the same.

It's a 50 minute walk from our current temporary apartment. (It will be about 15mins from our new house.) So I trekked over there in the cold wind utterly exhausted and with an aching back. Master R was a little apprehensive and clingy when we first got there but it was food time and all the others were eating apple so soon enough he joined them and attempted to stuff as much apple into his mouth as possible and steal other kid's apple if they weren't eating fast enough. Because he’s quite big, running around and a bit rough, he’s actually in with a class of bigger kids. They were all born around June 07 and he’s the youngest by months with a birthday in February 08.

I stayed with him for a while and he seemed happy enough. I said goodbye and left and then waited a little while, heard that he stopped crying after less than a minute and was on my merry way. I waddled home, crashed into bed and promptly fell asleep. I woke up about 40mins later with a feeling that something was wrong. Turns out that the nursery director had called me 10mins before and I’d slept through it. The message said that I should come straight away as he “was in a great deal of distress”. Dragging on my jeans I jumped in a cab and arrived at there only to find him curled up on the playmates, snoring away with the kids running and playing around him.

Lucky I had my knitting and just sat in reception for an hour waiting for him. He woke up distressed so I took him home. Apparently he was fine until nap time and then be broke down and screamed – and yes, he really can howl! He just wouldn’t be settled and wouldn’t let anyone hold him. I’m actually dreading next week now and wondering what I can do to make it easier for him? Any suggestions?

Sick and tired of getting sick

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Miss L and I unfortunately encountered a stomach bug on Friday evening. Luckily Miss L bounced right back from it, regaining her normal appetite for chicken apple sausage and pancakes within a day. I, on the other hand, have taken a longer time to recover and still feel exhausted from being sick. One obvious reason could be my age, or it could be the fact that I was cleaning my apartment just five hours after being sick. In one night my neat and minimalist apartment had turned into a pigsty with dirty dishes piled high in the sink, saltine crumbs all over the floor (from Miss L's munching) and a pile of linens needing some serious laundering (after Mister T did two loads of laundry on his own). Needless to say when I awoke on Saturday morning feeling weak and in need of a gallon of ginger ale, Mister T was exhausted and on bed rest so I mustered up all the energy I could find and started to scrub, wash and disinfect the apartment.

But I digress, my real question to pose is why am I always getting sick? I've heard that once you have kids you can expect to get sick a lot, but this is crazy! It's either a head cold, sore throat or stomach bug every few weeks. Here is a list of possible explanations for my poor immune system:

1. My parents are positive that I live in a "sick" building. While we have had a number of water problems (picture brown water coming out of your faucet), I am not sure this is the correct explanation. I will also mention that my parents live in a small hippie town on the Northern California coast where the sign leading into town does not give you the town name (tourists are not welcome there, just locals), but the town philosophy which is "welcome to this peace loving, socially acknowledged nature-loving town".

2. I propose that it may be my carnivorous ways that could be causing me to become sick more often. I was a vegetarian for about five years, including my entire pregnancy with Miss L. I started craving meat when I was breastfeeding, perhaps craving the protein that my depleted body needed. Perhaps I should eat more plants and less animals.

3. Mister T thinks the culprit may be too many playgroups. After cleaning up Miss L's vomit for the third time he announced I should go to no more than two playgroups a week. I think I could cut down on the Barnes and Noble storytimes, which seem to be teeming with sick kids hacking and sneezing and looking feverish. But the Monday and Thursday playgroups are here to stay for Miss L and me!

4. I did go to an ayurvedic practitioner last year who gave me some suggestions to become healthier and have good energy throughout the day. This included waking up between 4:00 and 5:30 every morning (doing some yoga and mind mapping before Miss L woke up at 7:00), cutting out caffeine (enjoying a cup of hot lemon water instead) and adjusting my food choices to cool down my pitta inclination (almond milk, coconut basmati rice, sushi). Obviously I did not adopt any of this since I am writing this at 8:30 p.m. (I would need to go to bed at 6:00 p.m. in order to wake up at 5:00 a.m.) and as many of you know I love my Jack's coffee.

So perhaps getting sick more often is just par for the course for being a mom. Maybe it's because I'm not doing seasonal cleanses as recently promoted by Gwyneth and P Diddy. I just wish there was a magic pill (a natural supplement, of course) to keep me healthy and full of energy.

Vacation or just a posh change of address?

So taking a vacation with a very active toddler is pretty challenging, even when you're spoiled enough to have two and a half weeks in Miami.  We're staying at the newly-renovated Fontainebleau, which is doing it's very best to appeal to all the swanky people of the world with it's sexy, beachy marketing materials that appeared to be plastered everywhere at home.  (It should be after spending $1B in a declining economy, right?!?)  It's a pretty fancy place, with a store that seems to exclusively stock Valentino and Matthew Williamson, NYC outposts of restaurants like Scarpetta, and a nightclub that is attracting all the celebrities when they're in town.  The huge hotel has a great number of pools and cabanas (rental only, of course), not to mention a private adults-only section that's cordoned off with ropes and guarded by a burly looking dude.  

It also has a really cute kiddie pool, and that's where we've spent all our time thus far, when we're not doing nap time, meal time (in the kitchen in our room), tear the room apart time, run around the hallways like a madman time, or wind down for 7pm bedtime.  Master X is loving the freedom of being allowed to run free around the grounds, and even though I brought along the monkey backpack that's really a leash, I've felt comfortable enough letting him go untethered for the most part.  Of course, he is a runner by nature, so even if he were attached, I'd still be following behind, keeping him from jumping into one of the pools or diving down the marble stairwells that are all over the place.  He also likes to take off after people, yelling 'Hello!' at the top of his lungs until they notice him.  So that's what we do all day... we chase Master X.  I watch all the childless vacationers as they recline on the chaises, drink margaritas and read books in their bikinis.  I used to be one of them.  

Now I wear tankinis (and sarongs), drink water and read absolutely nothing because I'm up to my calves in the wading pool all day.  Instead of a secluded Caribbean resort, we chose Miami because there's a zoo and a children's museum, and I printed directions to the local Whole Foods before we left NYC.  My requirements for a room weren't a great view or a huge soaking tub... I really only cared about a kitchen, a washer/dryer and a bathroom big enough to accommodate a crib.  I haven't bothered with makeup or clothes besides bathing suits and pajamas, and I have no idea what's on any menu besides room service.  It's adorable to watch Master X have so much fun, and we're blessed to be in such a nice place, but it's also a lot of work.

That leads me to my observation.  Once you have babies, there's no such thing as a real vacation, unless you bring a nanny or leave them at home (which might make it hard to relax, anyway).  Vacation, for mamas at least, is really just a change of address.  

Another mother dies needlessly

Source: Daily Mail

Today, "Mothering Sunday"*, brought news of the needless death of Jade Goody, a British celebrity. This is the needless death of yet another British mother this week, after Natasha Richardson, both mother to two boys.

Like Natasha Richardson, Jade Goody's death was preventable. She died of cervical cancer. One of the easiest to detect and easiest to treat if detected early. Jade had a positive pap test but decided to ignore it. Now she has left a husband, of a couple of weeks, and two beautiful boys, without a wife and mother. No matter what her past, it is tragic.

A number of years ago I stayed with my friend while her mother died of cervical cancer. The mother had chosen an alternative lifestyle and didn't believe in modern medicine instead treating herself with herbs and prayer, mostly prayer. The sight and smell of her dying needlessly in hospital and the turmoil it left the family in in the years after gave me a religious zeal about having regular pap tests.

Since then my mother and a very young aunt have received treatment for cervical cancer. While it's not genetic in any way, the thought of leaving my partner, beautiful boy and baby 2 will force me to endure the cold metal and discomfort of a pap test every two years, not the four recommended in the UK. That's not frequent enough. Please do it every two years. Please book yours today.

*The name has been changed from Mother's Day to Mothering Sunday after a US company bought the trademark for Mother's Day.

Children don't make you happy, says expert who doesn't have any

I read the headline and couldn't believe it! Who have they been talking to? Obviously none of the parents I know. About 4 years ago I had an overwhelming urge to have a baby. The urge physically hurt. I would beg Mr M in tears for a baby and he would say he wasn't ready (despite being together for ever!). Finally he felt we were in a position to have a baby. Then the trying started.

When it didn't happen straight away I was truly devastated. It was months of heart break when a baby didn't just materialise. Adding to this was friends bragging that they'd "fallen pregnant the first month". Shut up with your smugness! I'm sure some can relate to this. Finally when it happened I could not be happier.

The moment Master R was born was the most beautiful day of my life. A hole in my life had been filled and I was whole. I felt complete and that this was what I was born to do.

Of course not every day is a fun-filled love fest. There is days with tears of frustration and where I really have to control myself to stay calm and together. But unlike Dr Powdthavee's claims, my bursts of happiness far outweigh any drudgery of the day-to-day. What's more, I think that having number 2 in a few months is going to add to my sheer happiness.

What do you think? Are you happier?

Social scientist Dr Nattavudh Powdthavee said there was "almost zero association" between having children and happiness. He said: "In a recent study of British adults, for example, we found that parents and non-parents reported the same levels of life satisfaction."

Dr Powdthavee, from the University of York, said most parents remember milestones like a first smile, and think these rewards more than compensate them for the challenging task of raising children. But any small bursts of happiness are cancelled out by the day-to-day chores of having a family, he said in the latest issue of The Psychologist, the magazine of The British Psychological Society.

He said: "To imagine what it's like being a mother or a father we're likely to focus more on the good things about being a parent than the bad things. "This is mainly because we believe that the rare but meaningful experiences like a child's first smile, or graduating from university, or seeing them get married will give us massive and long-lasting increases in happiness.

"These boosts in wellbeing tend not to last for very long. Instead, parents spend much of their time attending to the very core processes of childcare – problems at school, cooking and laundry – which are much more frequent. "It is these small but negative experiences that are more likely to impact on our day-to-day levels of happiness and life satisfaction."

Despite his research Dr Powdthavee, 30, and his girlfriend are thinking about starting a family of their own.

Children don't make you happy, says expert who doesn't have any - Telegraph

Book review: Supernanny by Jo Frost

Source: Amazon

While I'm waiting for Mama H to post me my New Yorkers, I'm desperate for reading material. I've even swiped Mr M's hard reading The Forgotten Man as I await my mags.

I was visiting a friend, M, last week to meet her new little baby (and raid her bookshelf). He was just one week old and does nothing but sleep - remember those days? She also has a perfectly angelic little three year old. He is a dream child. He won't eat anything but never fusses and is so respectful. I asked her how she's disciplined him over the years and she didn't really say anything specific. She said that her husband did most of it. I didn't buy it considering M's a preschool teacher by training and is a fulltime mum who has never had anyone but close family care for him.

Picking the Supernanny book off the shelf M said it was great and she really agreed with the book. We went on to discuss how sad it is to see mothers sleep train 8 week old babies and the whole Gina Ford movement in the UK of babies trained into routines from birth like little robots. I followed more of a Dr Sears approach for Master R and believe in most of Sear's attachment parenting philosophy. M said I would probably enjoy Supernanny in that case so I took it home for a read.

Most of you would know Jo Frost from her TV show both in the UK and US called Supernanny. The few times I've watched it I've been moved to tears at the sheer frustration of the parents and wonderment that such beautiful babies can turn into horrendous monsters hitting and screaming at their parents. Unfortunately I've seen it happen with a friend's little boy. As a result Mr M and I are determined not to let that happen to Master R and we're probably a little on the firm side with him. Loving of course, but firm.

Jo Frost sums up her philosophy with ten rules:

1. Praise and rewards
2. Consistency
3. Routine
4. Boundaries
5. Discipline
6. Warnings
7. Explanations
8. Restraint
9. Responsibility
10. Relaxation

These rules are then adapted to the different issues at each stage in a child's life such as feeding, sleeping, dressing, bedtime etc.

The book is set out in a very reader friendly manner and is a quick read. She has a no nonsense approach that I agree with and is all about common sense. Most of the book is more relevant to older children and she does say she doesn't recommend most of her methods until they're 2-3 years old. I really like how Frost admits that she's never had any children of her own or even any formal qualifications but she has been in hundreds of homes and looked after hundreds of children and that it does make her an expert in the field. I can appreciate that and don't believe you need to have children of your own to spot trouble or an alphabet of letters after your name.

A good read and probably a good reference to have sitting on the shelf in case your angel's halo slips as he/she gets a little older and starts showing defiance. But let's hope that doesn't happen!

The shoe issue resolved

Source: Clarks

Thank you mamas for your offer of shoes for my poor little man! The issue is now resolved.

Saturday morning Mr M kindly offered to feed Master R and take him for a walk when he awoke at 6:30am allowing me a sleep in. My blissful snoozing was rudely disturbed by Mr M storming into the room with a teary Master R following.

Mr M was furious with me for buying too small shoes for Master R causing him to scream every time they were on. I agree that I don't think the shoes fit all that well but they were expertly fitted in a baby shoe store and I just thought Master R was fussing because he didn't want his shoes on. Mr M threw the shoes in the bin (I later rescued them), got his old torn Pedis and went outside to play.

This time instead of a "specialist" shoe store I went to John Lewis. They also have a fitter - and one who actually spoke a coherent English this time. She was excellent and said that the other fitter had measured his feet incorrectly and he was a whole 1.5 sizes longer and 1 size wider than thought. She also recommended against the Start Rite shoes for his fat foot preferring the Clarks. By the way, they sold both so I felt it was unbiased.

Master R is now happily playing in his new Clarks shoes and doesn't make a fuss when I'm putting them on. Mr M is now smug in the knowledge that he is more "attuned" to his son than I am. Whatever Mr M!

Beep! Beep!

Source: www.thingamababy.com

I’ve been living a sociological suburban experiment for three weeks now, and it’s time to share some of my field notes on the way people get around. Here are some of my most astonishing findings about life as a country mouse:

Hitch Your Wagon
Master D and I took advantage of the balmy 72 degree weather earlier this week and went to the Columbus Zoo. Master D was most astonished by the outgoing gorillas, while I spent most of my time wondering why so many mamas were pulling wagons. I knew Bugaboos would be rare here because they’re a pain to fold in and out of car trunks, but I was surprised to see wagons as the preferred baby vehicle. Most of them were made of cartoonish plastic, like the hollow plastic playhouses they have in daycare centers, and lined with fleece blankets. Often two children would be stuffed into the wagon and their mother would walk slowly and awkwardly as she tried to pull them behind her. Are strollers uncool for older kids? If kids get too old for strollers, shouldn’t they just walk? Even 18 month-old Master D wanted to walk some of the way wearing his new monkey-on-my-backpack from Target, but he was the only young kid on his feet. Is this why there’s an obesity epidemic in this country?

Car Culture
I have always loved driving, and Master D has adjusted very well to this aspect of suburban life. He calls the car the “Beep Beep” or the “Honk Honk” and gets excited when I tell him we’re going for a drive. He cries sometimes when he gets into his car seat, and repeatedly asks for milk from the backseat when he’s hungry, but he mostly just looks around and bops along to the music on the radio. This is the best part of suburban life for me – the ability to get places without a struggle. Before baby, I loved walking around the streets on Manhattan, but after baby every errand felt like a chore because I had to hurry and push a stroller, a bad combo. Now I know why so many families move to the ‘burbs - sometimes it's easier to cart kids around in a car. I’m sure this is the slippery slope to wagon-pulling and walking aversion and amputation of my left foot, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take!

Stroller Shock
Mama N wrote about strollers a few weeks ago, and she is correct that the Bugaboo is the best for the city. Frugalista that I am, I experimented with several cheaper models of strollers before buying a used Bugaboo from a fellow downtown mama. Besides the faded upholstery that Mama V kindly described as “Nantucket Red,” the stroller is as good as new and I loved pushing it around Manhattan, mostly because I could face Master D towards me and look at his little sleeping face as we strolled.
Despite all the driving, I still put Master D in a stroller here whenever I can. We live about a mile from the little town center here, so we could walk there, but so far we haven’t gone into town without a car errand to run afterward. So, mostly we have to use the car stroller (one of the cheapies we got pre-Bugaboo, the multi-purpose Peg Perego Aria). I have a new appreciation for my Peg – it fold easily, it’s light, Master D loves it – but I miss my Bugaboo and being able to talk to Master D as we walk. Maybe I’ll have to start finding excuses to walk into town more often.

Sometimes beauty does not mean suffering

As a mad snowboarder the death of anyone while skiing or boarding really shakes me. But the death of Natasha Richardson is especially shocking. It's not just because she's a young mother but because these types of injuries can be avoided by wearing a helmet.

In 2000 when I was learning to snowboard I took an especially nasty fall. It really shook me and I could see stars for days and had a sore spot on the back of my head for months after. After the initial panic attack wore off I went to the nearest ski store and bought a helmet.

At that time in our little ski resort of Fieberbrunn I was the only adult wearing a helmet. I did not care how silly I looked, I just knew that I needed protection.

Now more and more adults are wearing helmets. In January I noticed that in Fieberbrunn more people were wearing helmets than not and Snowbird was the same.

In the same way that the terminal illness of Jade Goody has increased the number of women seeking pap tests, I hope that the tragic death of Natasha Richardson will encourage you all to forsake beauty and wear a helmet on the slopes.

My child is an angel, what's happened?

Source: Angel Gift

It seems that when Master R wants to instigate change is starts on a Sunday. This past Sunday we were braced for a little grump after a busy day visiting friends and flying remote control planes with his Papi and no naps. But instead our little angel slept until 7am, came straight into bed with us and proceeded to cuddle first me and then Mr M. It was truly incredible. Normally he hates to be cuddled for long periods as he doesn't like the constraint and tries to run away. We were amazed but it's continued.

And not just with us. Nanny G was amazed on Monday that while playing in the park Master R would run back to her at regular intervals, cuddle a bit then run (well more of a drunken sailor waddle) back to his plaything of choice.

But it's not just the affection that's got us puzzled. He's eating everything, drinking everything and in such vast quantities that we can't believe it. The absolute best bit is that he's telling me when he's sleepy and wants a nap! Monday morning we were playing and cuddling on the sofa when he pointed to his bedroom. Upon entering his room he pointed to his bed, lay down and went straight to sleep - with blanky of course.

It's incredible. Sorry mamas to be smug. You must hate me. I know this is not going to continue but I'm relishing it while it's here.

Who said Irish food had to be bland?

In honor of St. Patrick's Day I baked an Irish soda bread from Barefoot Contessa At Home. Ina Garten is my absolute favorite cookbook author. Her recipes are simple, fun and so delicious. I have all six of her cookbooks and have enjoyed every recipe I have tried. Mr. T and Miss L nibbled on slices of this bread all day today. Here is the recipe:

4 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for the currants

4 tablespoons sugar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

4 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 inch dice

1 3/4 cup cold buttermilk, shaken

1 extra-large egg, lightly beaten

1 teaspoon grated orange zest

1 cup dried currants

Preheat oven to 375. Line a sheet pan with parchment paper.

Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Add the butter and mix on low speed until the butter is mixed into the flour. With a fork, lightly beat the buttermilk, egg and orange zest together in a measuring cup. With the mixer on low speed, slowly add the buttermilk mixture to the flour mixture. Combine the currants with 1 tablespoon of flour and mix into the dough.

Dump the dough onto a well-floured board and knead it a few times into a round loaf. Place the loaf on the prepared sheet pan and lightly cut an X into the top of the bread with a serrated knife. Bake for 50 minutes, or until a cake tester comes out clean. Cool on a baking rack.

One knitting pattern for men's hat needed

I want to knit this hat for my dad's birthday. Anyone have a pattern that would help me replicate this? Ahem, Mama N?

I know what yarn I want to buy at The Point, and as soon as Mama J has chosen her next project I'll go buy the yarn and eat cupcakes with her one afternoon.

I think it is a simple rib, then stockinette stitch with decreases at the top. All knitting on the round. I just don't know how many to cast on and how to calculate the number of stitches and decreases at the top.

In defense of breastfeeding mamas

Source: New York Times, Illustration by Barry Falls

Mister T told me there was an anti-breastfeeding article in the current issue of The Atlantic, so of course, I quickly took it out of his hands to read it. I asked him first if it was written by a man, so I could easily dismiss it. It turns out to be written by one Hanna Rosin, a mother of three breastfed children.

My case against The Case Against Breast-feeding is multifold. Let me preface this by saying that I breastfed Miss L for 10 months (until I weaned her to cow's milk) and I had a really difficult time breastfeeding. When Miss L was born I had no idea how to breastfeed a baby. I had never seen a baby being breastfed, as I was raised in what I remember as the formula-crazy years of the 70's. I had a hard time getting Miss L to latch on, she fell asleep on the breast all the time and I felt really uncomfortable as I fumbled about trying to hold a delicate newborn while trying to remember how to guide Miss L to breastfeed. On top of this, Miss L continued to refuse one breast. I would try to stand and walk around to get her to breastfeed on the "bad boob". I constantly worried that she wasn't getting enough milk and continued to pump every day to try and get my supply up. I felt like an Austin Powers Fembot with both breasts hooked up to a hospital grade pump through holes I had made in my exercise bra to be hands-free to care for Miss L while pumping. I was the mom who went back to the lactation classes at Realbirth when Miss L was three months old, sitting in a room with moms of brand spanking new babies, just days or a few weeks old.

With this said, I still loved breastfeeding Miss L and look forward to breastfeeding Miss L's future siblings. Rosin paints breastfeeding mothers as overzealous, narrow-minded parenting fanatics. I chose to breastfeed and will breastfeed in the future for a very simple reason. It is a natural process. It is the same reason that I chose to make my own baby food purees from scratch rather than buying highly processed jar baby food for Miss L. The real bonus of course was the great bonding experience as I would sit and cuddle Miss L as she breastfed. I wouldn't trade that time with her for the world.

I have many friends who are amazing mothers who did not breastfeed or breastfed their babies for a little while and then switched to formula. I hold no judgments about their decisions. I think it is a personal choice. For myself I feel very strongly about breastfeeding, but I understand the personal choice of another mother who decides not to breastfeed because it is painful, or who is just not comfortable doing it, or who finds it too difficult to breastfeed when she has gone back to work. I think it is really hypocritical for Rosin to complain about the breastfeeding mothers who judge her for giving her baby formula when she herself is hyperjudging mothers who breastfeed and decide to selflessly put natural mothering ahead of their career aspirations.

And I know quite a few moms who have successfully maintained a career and breastfed their babies. Some of us decide to put careers on hold to raise our children. Maybe it is one year to focus on raising an infant or maybe it is five years to wait until children start school and then re-enter the workforce. In a time where people are working for forty years in their lifetime, is one to five years really a big deal? Rosin seems to think it will derail our careers, our marriages and our lives. It's true that some of us are lucky enough to have the luxury to make this choice. I would argue that our country's maternity and parenting policies are out-of-sync. We could take some real lessons from Europe where mothers are given much longer paid leaves. According to a BBC News report on Parenthood Policies in Europe, mothers are given 18 months of paid leave in Sweden, up to 12 months of paid leave in Norway, up to 36 months of paid parental leave in Germany and about 10 months of paid leave in France. "Paid leave" doesn't necessarily mean full pay, but I think we can argue that the United States is lagging in its maternal and parenting support policies.

I also wish we lived in a more supportive culture for breastfeeding. I wish it was something people talked about and that was normal to see through the generations of our families. That is why there is a lactation consultant industry in the United States. We don't watch our mothers, aunts and cousins breastfeed, and no one talks about breastfeeding (until after you have a baby). We are lucky to have such supportive, carrying people who help us mothers learn how to get a good latch, relax to get a good milk flow, boost our supply and gain the confidence to do something we may have never seen before.

Unlike Rosin's assumptions, I am not a religious zealot. I was not trying to boost Miss L's IQ. I was simply choosing a natural, loving way to feed her, in the same way that I choose not to feed her processed unnatural food, but real, organic food in her toddler years. Rosin does acknowledge the intimacy of breastfeeding. On this point she is right. It is intimate. As women we should strive to support one another in our personal decisions rather than judge, which only does us harm and sends us backwards. I don't particularly want to revert to times when "maternity wards automatically gave women hormone shots to stop the flow of breast milk," as Rosin cites during the time of the "formula wars". I'd like to move forward into a peaceful, open-minded time.

California here I come, California here I go

Mister T, Miss L and I just returned from a two-week trip to San Francisco. We were fortunate to arrive just in time for a nice stretch of warm, sunny weather between the rainstorms. Spring was definitely in the air. The waterfalls were gushing on Mt. Tam and the rolling hills were lush and green in the bright sunlight. Mama N's brown jacket turned out to be a perfect wardrobe piece for the trip!

We loved our stay in Noe Valley. It is like being in Park Slope, just replace all of the Bugaboos with jogging strollers and picture everyone wearing a fleece. There are no chain stores, just one Starbuck's and a Whole Foods arriving shortly.

We spent each morning at Bernie's coffee shop on 24th. Miss L loved running in and out of the shop, climbing on the sidewalk benches and feeding her croissant to the dogs tied up outside. Seeing Miss L's endless energy the locals kindly pointed us toward a wonderful toddler playground just up the street. Miss L loved the slides and showed no fear climbing up to the top to slide down by herself. This is where she takes after Mister T and not me who as a child had to be rescued numerous times by my dad because I was too scared to go down the slide after climbing up to it.

I was able to visit a few yarn stores in Marin and San Francisco. I also went with my mom to her lovely knitting circle in Bolinas. We sat around the table in the yarn shop knitting on a quiet sunny afternoon with only the sound of a flute playing in the background from a neighbor down the street. Quite a different scene from knitting in the city!

I had high hopes for finishing my Mom's scarf by the end of the trip, but I just didn't devote enough time to it. I tried to knit each evening after Miss L went to bed, but sometimes I ended up staying up and talking with my dad instead. I also got completely absorbed in Mama L's book club selection for this month, America, America. I am starting to get used to the lace pattern so hopefully I will pick up some speed and will be able to send my mom a finished object in the next week or so.

Being back in San Francisco felt great, but it also felt wonderful to arrive back in New York, which really feels like my home. In an ideal world I would have a home in both places, but I know that isn't realistic right now. San Francisco is calling us back, which makes me very sad when I think of how much I missed my mama friends and this amazing city I call home when I was away for just two weeks.

About this discipline thing...

Master X is a charmer.  He has a darling toothy smile and a very disarming way of waving hello ("ay-o") to strangers in the elevator.  He is happy, well-adjusted and well cared for.  He is also a little tyrant with zero tolerance for any way besides his own.  I must say, and it is not just motherly bias, that he is also really crafty.  Just last week, he sweetly convinced his father to sit on the stairs, before dashing off to jump on the dog's bed, something his father had just attempted to forbid.  All the mothers of older toddlers tell me that I have to stop it before his naughty moments spiral into the Terrible Twos.  On the other hand, he is a good child.  I love his fiercely independent spirit... and I don't want to be so draconian as to give him a reason to need therapy so early in his life.  (Mister A thinks I'm nuts, but I think nineteen months is old enough to develop a complex.)

I've always planned to be the fun mother who employs tough love when necessary.  It's just proving a little more challenging than I thought.  Either I cave in because I want to elicit some particular behavior (like playing a DVD while I attempt to feed him) or I burst out laughing because his responses to my methods are really funny.  When I gently swatted his hand, he beamed brightly and gently swatted mine right back.  When I tried to get him to feed himself, he threw it to the dog and put the bowl on his head.  

I've purchased a bunch of parenting books, all of which espouse wildly different philosophies.  I haven't had time to actually read all of them cover to cover, since Master X doesn't stay in one place for very long and he'd likely tear the apartment to pieces while I was reading.  I've gotten through about twenty pages of each and have attempted to integrate the methods with my own style of parenting. 

I've tried a few of the "tried and true" techniques, and this is what happens: he laughs.  He laughs when I try put him in his crib for a minute-long time out, he laughs when I clap and growl at him like one doctor suggests (and rightfully so, in my opinion - I look like a nut case),  he laughs and wags his finger when I say "no, no," and worse, he laughs hysterically when I lose it and melt down into tears.  (I blame my recent course of fertility drugs for that.)  On the rare occasions when he doesn't laugh, which is usually when I'm trying to rationalize with him, he screams and it hurts my ears and my heart.  

No mother is an island all the time, so I'm thinking it's time to open my door to suggestions.  How does one discipline a toddler without going over the edge?

Weaning mama

Source: Childbirth Connection

Sunday morning Master R awakes at his usual time of 6:30am and starts calling out "mama!". I stumble into his room semi awake and bring him back to our bed, bring down the strap of my nighty and put my breast to his mouth. Nothing unusual yet. But then instead of suckling ferociously as usual he chomped on me and started screaming! I tried again and nothing. He was refusing the breast.

I took him to the kitchen and poured milk into his sippy cup, returned to bed and he gulped it down in less than a minute, returned to bed and slept for another hour. He might have been content, I was devastated.

While I know that now I'm pregnant weaning was inevitable. I had just imagined switching from one baby to the next. I really enjoyed those morning feeds and cuddles. But Master R has had the final say on this matter, as usual!

Why are boys shoes so girly here?

Source: Startrite

New York mummies, will someone send me over some Pedipeds? Pretty please? The shoes here are terrible and Master R really needs some new ones. I stupidly bought some precious Pedis but packed them in our sea freight which won't get here until April. Master R's feet are growing at such a rapid rate that he put a hole right through the toe of the old ones.

So off to Igloo I went. Normally an internet shopper Master R needed shoes immediately and I had noticed this shop on Upper Street when I'm met a friend there. They offered specialised fittings and a wide range of sizes.

At the time I wasn't convinced the "fitter" knew what she was talking about. The shoes just didn't seem to fit right. And, let's face it, they're so girly! But in desperation and frustration I bought them. Now I'm looking at the Startrite website and these shoes are pre-walkers and Master R is most definitely walking and she could see that. No wonder they don't fit.

I also said I wanted velcro and not a buckle - have you tried to put shoes on a wiggly 1 year old? She was struggling and failed to do it solo but insisted that a buckle was better. Hmmm he's on the last hole, surely more flexible velcro would be better?

Returning them is out of the question now because Master R really needs shoes and for £30 he just has to wear them out (under long trousers/pants so no one can see how girly they are...)

So please mommies, if I order some beautiful Pedipeds will someone post them to me? Their shipping rates to the UK are $20 which is just far too much for a pair of $35 shoes.

Thanks in advance xx

Falling in love with baby 2

Source: NHS

The day I had Master R was one of the happiest and yet most traumatic days of my life (he was admitted to ICU, but that's another blog post...). From the moment I discovered I was pregnant I was in love with this mystery being growing inside me. I sang to him, rubbed my stomach and reclined on the sofa dreaming of his future. Months of trying to get pregnant had worked and now I had fulfilled my destiny. I worked from home and had the luxury of this time to ponder my baby developing inside.

As the months have gone by the love I feel for Master R is indescribable, as most mothers understand. It grows stronger and stronger as time goes by and I just want to protect him before all else (sorry Mr M).

Now baby 2 is growing inside of me. But this time it's different. I don't have time to lie on the sofa rubbing my belly and dreaming of his/her future. I don't have time to sing to the fetus while having a shower (I'm lucky to get a shower). My time is spent bowing to the needs of Master R while attempting to keep a young business on track.

Now it's not that I don't want baby 2. Of course I do! I was so thrilled when I discovered I was pregnant and feel blessed that pregnancy number 2 came easily to me after my struggle with number 1. It's a combination of factors.

First I don't want my beautiful Master R to miss out on anything by having a sibling so close. I'm also feeling apprehensive about dealing with two under 18mths. But as I ponder this issue during the wee hours of morning when I can't sleep, a little too often, I realise that there is one main factor - I don't have time!

When baby two comes late in August I know that I'll feel overwhelming love for him or her just as I did for Master R. I know I'll love both babies equally and will attempt to give them equal attention, or attention as required. But right now I just don't have the time to think about it so I'll take it as it comes.