Master X is a charmer. He has a darling toothy smile and a very disarming way of waving hello ("ay-o") to strangers in the elevator. He is happy, well-adjusted and well cared for. He is also a little tyrant with zero tolerance for any way besides his own. I must say, and it is not just motherly bias, that he is also really crafty. Just last week, he sweetly convinced his father to sit on the stairs, before dashing off to jump on the dog's bed, something his father had just attempted to forbid. All the mothers of older toddlers tell me that I have to stop it before his naughty moments spiral into the Terrible Twos. On the other hand, he is a good child. I love his fiercely independent spirit... and I don't want to be so draconian as to give him a reason to need therapy so early in his life. (Mister A thinks I'm nuts, but I think nineteen months is old enough to develop a complex.)
I've always planned to be the fun mother who employs tough love when necessary. It's just proving a little more challenging than I thought. Either I cave in because I want to elicit some particular behavior (like playing a DVD while I attempt to feed him) or I burst out laughing because his responses to my methods are really funny. When I gently swatted his hand, he beamed brightly and gently swatted mine right back. When I tried to get him to feed himself, he threw it to the dog and put the bowl on his head.
I've purchased a bunch of parenting books, all of which espouse wildly different philosophies. I haven't had time to actually read all of them cover to cover, since Master X doesn't stay in one place for very long and he'd likely tear the apartment to pieces while I was reading. I've gotten through about twenty pages of each and have attempted to integrate the methods with my own style of parenting.
I've tried a few of the "tried and true" techniques, and this is what happens: he laughs. He laughs when I try put him in his crib for a minute-long time out, he laughs when I clap and growl at him like one doctor suggests (and rightfully so, in my opinion - I look like a nut case), he laughs and wags his finger when I say "no, no," and worse, he laughs hysterically when I lose it and melt down into tears. (I blame my recent course of fertility drugs for that.) On the rare occasions when he doesn't laugh, which is usually when I'm trying to rationalize with him, he screams and it hurts my ears and my heart.
No mother is an island all the time, so I'm thinking it's time to open my door to suggestions. How does one discipline a toddler without going over the edge?
I'd love some suggestions too! Master X sounds just like Master R. And I find it so hard to keep a straight face too. But it does get so trying when he's thrown his milk for the uptenth time and the floor is covered in it... What to do?
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